So I go to check my old email accounts from like 1997-2001 cos I like to relive the glory that was my Yahoo! Clubs RPG dominance (Akiro Dama, best made-up anime RPG character EVER) and there's like a flood of "Penis Enlargement" and "C Gurlz N UR Area!" mails. So OK, whatever...no problem. It happens, some slip through and you're not particularly irritated...well, not unless you need penis enlargement and know you do then it's just bad when anonymous fuckers hit the nail on the head, yeah?
Oh no, what bothered me was the "From the Estate of Robert Swift" or whomever messages. Now I know there's no Robert Swift in my family, I know there's no Johnathan Swift in my family, and most importantly, despite being of African decent I know like hell there isn't a family member in Nigeria of all places. At first I was like, "Damn, that's a pretty well constructed story...for a scammster". Then they started coming en masse...the same damn story.
"Robert Swift and his wife and son were killed in a car accident today on a road in West Nigeria..."
Then there's some obscene amount in their bank account...
"Robert had $25 million in his bank here in Nigeria..."
Fucking hell, what the hell was Robert doing in Nigeria? Contract killing? Drug running? $25M is alot to have just to be living in Nigeria you know? There's Hawaii, England, California...somewhere in the Northeast or Mid Atlantic, but Nigeria...you've got mad stacks cousin Robert. Anyway, it's stupid. I read these just out of boredom and answer them for my amusement. The funny thing is no matter how nastily you answer these or with another Nigerian fraudster email they respond back as if a deal has been struck.
...as if I'm leaving my nice country to travel overseas to Nigeria. Fuck no...I've seen To Catch A Scam Artist, Richard Mutambe, you're not slicking this Westerner. Besides, I don't have any cash to pour into your shitty scam...all that goes to chicken fries and bus fare, fuckers.
So, in "what's been up with you, Swift" news mainly work and considering quiting. My brother turned 19 Monday of this week (7/14)...Haven't been working on my writing as much as I would like, but I have been writing shitty songs...shitty songs about dragons made of shit and monsterous vaginas attacking the peaceful land. Haven't been drawing either, I usually draw in the fall when it's cooler outside. The bulk of my time has been consumed by N64, SNES, and GBC/GBA emulation and TEW 2007...Adult Swim's bitchin' 10PM-12AM line-up is taking up time as well. I also just discovered the awesomeness that is Avatar...funny cos most shit on Nick sucks.
Oh well, have a great weekend and hopefully I'll update next week!
SWIFT