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Current mood:  imaginative Category: Romance and Relationships
The chicken kind, not the girls...chicks are fluffy and nice to be around...and pleasant...plus they go "Peep, peep...peep, peep, peep."
So enough of that. Chicks, man. Have you ever wondered why guys tend to have to impress women? Subconsciously that's what the whole courting process is anyway: a seemingly reasonable guy trying to impress a seeming reasonable (or unreasonable) gal and becoming unreasonable in the process. Flowers and movies and candy and shit. Courting has become a financial endeavor now too. A guy needs funds as opposed to the younger days where you just popped up, went for a walk, and talked. Now you need to buy shit...and you still need to talk.
"Maaaaaan, it's too much. That shit's like extravagant or something, Swift!"
I know voice in my head! That was the voice in my head...it types from time to time. I stopped listening to him a long time ago--like around 2006, but I now realize he made sense the entire time and now he's back."With a vengeance, bitches."
Yes, thank you Voice in My Head. Anyway, impressing women requires charm too. Charm I've got...I could charm the pants off of a nude person. I've got enough charm for the talentless jerks some women go for anyway. I should sell my charm in the stores in the juice aisle...then I'd have money. Which I would need in some capacity to get a chick.
"If you had money, Swift then you wouldn't be on MySpace rambling about having to impress chicks. You'd have one...and you'd be like 'Hey baby, what's haaaaaappening. ALRIIIIGHT?!!'
What the hell?
"Yeeeaah, Swift. You know what I'm talking about, man. Oh you KNOW what I'M talking about, huss."
Surprisingly I do. There are women who prefer men with personality and they're actually nice chicks themselves.
"You mean 'ugly' women, right? Substituting 'nice' for 'ugly'."
Well, yeah...but there's ugly chicks who want money as well...they kinda put you in the position of "C'mon, you gotta meet me half way on something. You can't be ugly and stuck up. Get humble, damn you." But no, Voice in My Head I wasn't substituting anything for anything. There are geniunely nice women.
"So...maybe you should like...go find them, huh?"
I think they hide out in caverns have meetings about how they can't find decent guys with amazing personalities. Like some kind of hot-geeky-funny-conversational chicks who don't like douchebags club in a cavern.
"Yeah...but you're a catch, man! You ain't that much of a looker...with the wild, vagabond beard and perma-scowl, but you're a catch. You got love to give, dude."
Yeah! I've got love to give, man.
"Sloppy love."
...see, this is why I stopped listening to you, Voice in My Head. You always fuck shit up for me. I get a logical line of thinking going and BAM! you fuck that shit up by appearing!
"No one wants to read about you talk about love and shit, Swift! They want to read about your love for metal, comics, and whatever mind scrambling creative you're working on...and maybe some random shit. Like off the wall random shit. There are chicks that dig random stuff you know!"
Like crazy ones?
"Exactly. Crazy and hot ones. The jealous kind who would shank you if you cheated on them. Maybe prison chicks too."
And I'm officially tired of chatting with you. You made me get off subject...I'm gonna find something to work on. I got a bunch of short stories I want to get to.
"See, that's why you're still single. You're always writing, drawing, or reading! You need to talk to some broads, man!"
Everyone have a great weekend and be safe!
~SWIFT
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