I feel like I should write about what's going on in my life right now, and what I hope will happen soon. I usually don't post blogs on here, but I am in the writing mood, so, umm, here it is.  It's hard to type because my fingers are cold, LOL.

School has been going well for me.  I thought this semester was gonna kill my grades, but so far I have been doing quite well.  In fact, I think I have done better this semester than in any previous semester.  However, I have worked my tail off harder than anything to get there, and it isn't over yet.  I still have until the first week of December until finals are done, and then it's Christmas break.  I have two, no, three tests next week, and then one test and one lab "final" the week of Thanksgiving.  Add to that my finals which start the week after Thanksgiving, a project, and some journal article responses, and I have quite a bit to do in these next four weeks.

I have also been working on a part-time on campus job with one of my professors.  It has given me some more to do.  At first the work was interesting; I was helping to draft a proposal to improve bridge inspection techniques in the state of Alabama.  Now I have been working on this very mundane project to create a CD that has bridge design standards and procedures on it.  The work is boring and unfulfilling.  I hope that my next project, to help design a room to cure concrete, will be more interesting. I get paid an okay wage to do this work, but unfortunately, I don't get enough hours to really get a good paycheck every two weeks, which brings me to my next subject....

....I'm broke!  Flat out broke.  My financial aid did not work out like it should have this semester.  If it would have, then, just like last spring, I would not have any money worries right now.  Unfortunately, I didn't get everything filled out in time (yep, it's my fault, but that bridge is long gone), so that knocked out one chunk.  I also get help from the Alabama Department of Rehabilitation since I am a diabetic.  Unfortunately, they could only help me with books this semester, and only those that I bought at the on-campus bookstore.  Since I didn't feel like giving my right testical out of pocket to get the books there, I can't get reimbursed for most of my book expenses.   So now I am limping along very nicely now until January when I start my co-op job again.  I know one thing: next summer I am going to try and be a part-time land surveyor so I can make a decent wage doing something interesting.  Never will I do this again.

Right now, life sucks.  I don't have anything to look forward to, and I feel so overwhemled and overworked.  I guess there's Thanksgiving and Christmas to look forward to (and my 22nd birthday the Tuesday after Thanksgiving), but I mean I don't have anyone to look foward to, if you get my drift.  I really hope that I can get back together with that special person in my life that means more to me than life itself, but right now I don't see it happening.  We have both hit trying times.  Life has not been kind to neither one of us lately. If I could just have her back.  If I could hold her in my arms. Life would sort itself out.  I just don't think she feels the same way.  I feel like a doormat, like the janitor that everyone takes for granted will be around, but is shooed away when not needed.  I want things to work out.  I want my angel back.  I think I am viewed as a pesky nuisance.

If I can't have that, then I just want to run.  I want to run away.  Get the hell out of dodge.  I don't know where I want to go.  I just want to go. Far away from here.  Somewhere where I can find myself and relieve myself of all the problems and issues that have plagued my existance for the past couple of months. Just getting away from here for a few days would do wonders for my morale.  I don't care where it is, but it can't be here.  I don't need a single reminder of what I am running from.  Maybe being a truck driver would be a wonderful career for me.

I want to know what is going to happen next, and I want to know if I can have her back in my life.