It being the Halloween season there are many old horror movies on cable.  Got me to thinkin…the movies I feared as a kid are completely stupid but I remember vividly the fears I gained from each one of them.  The movies themselves are silly but I hope someone can share the childhood emotional scars they affected.

Here is my top 6 movies feared as a child:

6 -- Brave Little Toaster: 1987
No other movie will instill a fear of abandonment in a child like the brave little toaster.  Dated appliances abandoned by they're "master"?  …..but the main scene that made me cry as a kid was watching those sad little cars get crushed in the junkyard by the giant evil magnet and the crusher.  And this scene really didn't serve a purpose except to make children fear getting crushed by giant evil machinery.   Scared the crap out of me.

5 -- Poltergeist: 1982
You know you hated that fucking clown.  I couldn't stand looking at my stuffed clown after that.  I remember fearing that goddamn clown hiding under the bed.  And that oak tree, how many movies do you know where you can be scared of a fucking oak tree.

4 -- Gremlins: 1984
No other movie could make a kid fear paper shredders and dental equipment like gremlins.   In addition to not wanting to wash my dog for fear it would sprout blister baby's on it s back.

3 -- The Labyrinth: 1986
This is the movie that made me be nice to my sister for all of three weeks.  David Bowie was a very effective way to make me be a good older sister, part because I would miss Cheryl but mostly because it looked like a pain in the ass to go through that fuckin maze to fetch a sibling.

2 -- Ghostbusters 2: 1982
2 Words: Pink Slime.  I didn't want to bathe for weeks, I had such a fear of that pink shit coming out of the faucet and getting me.  I would sit and watch the faucet during a bath in hopes that I would be able to jump out fast enough so that the pink slime didn't take me away.

1 -- ET: 1982
Yes, ET is number one, I hated that fucking alien as a kid.  When that bastard turned white I was hoping he would die.  I had a huge irrational fear that that neck was going to pop up in the toilet when I was taking a tinkle.