Advice for a Friend who is not "allowed" to talk to me

and therefore has to do so in secret...

Dealing With A Suspicious Girlfriend

We can all spot her from a mile away because the second she opens her mouth, we get a splitting headache. You may know her because she's dating one your friends or because she incessantly calls the office asking to speak to her boyfriend. The culprit? The annoying, suspicious girlfriend.

why do they exist?

Annoying girlfriends are generally insecure women. They constantly look for attention -- a byproduct of their desire for affection -- and for some kind of recognition in a world that doesn't give them any.

Some of my best friends are "annoying girlfriends"; that is, girls who feel the need to check up on their boyfriends every minute of the day, questioning their every move, asking irrelevant questions and making their lives miserable. Although they are well aware of their behavior, they continue to do it since their boyfriends put up with their insistent queries.

But that isn't the whole truth. These women -- the kind that men consider annoying or constantly suspicious -- are often this way because they are insecure within the relationship.

Of course, there are women who were born to nag and add an extra coat of stress to our already stressful lives. Most women, however, are not maddening by nature, but become so when their partners fuel their insecurities. Women can be very complicated, but the reasoning behind their feelings is often simplistic: They want to be loved. This feeling ranges from the strongest of feminists to the meekest of shy girls. Most women need validation in life, and the best way to validate them is to let them know that they're cared for.

Give her some love...

what can you do?

If she is naturally irritating, there isn't much you can do beyond ending the relationship. After all, you can't force someone with a whiny voice to stop talking, nor can you force someone who is naturally aggravating to stop being that way.

If, on the other hand, your girlfriend is annoying because she doesn't trust you, you have another problem. Women generally like to share their feelings and will likely tell you all about their emotions. Unfortunately, men are not quite as forthcoming with that type of information.

What ends up happening? Women begin questioning why they tells their mates everything when their men aren't as open and honest. If they don't receive the same daily update from their partners, they become suspicious.

As boyfriends or husbands, men should try to alleviate these suspicions. Even if you aren't typically affectionate, a simple gesture, like a note that just says "I love you," can go a long way.

You don't have to recite the minute details of your entire day to avoid women's interrogations. All you have to do is make them feel secure and trusting, and the rest will fall into place. It's a question of analyzing the problem before finding a solution. The easiest thing to do to avoid women's nagging is to simply answer their questions.

ease her mind

If your girlfriend is just insecure, you can easily save your relationship. Indulge her insecurities with nice gestures every so often and her whining will probably stop.

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