So Mother gets shortened to Mom, Brother to Bro, Sister to Sis, but father gets shortened to Dad?  How the hell did that happen? It's not even remotely close.

I don't have Swine Flu, but the constant, mindless reporting of it on TV does make me sick.

If Ray Kurzweil is right, by 2020, me, and all my fellow, lazy, procrastinators, will have nothing to worry about.

The best musical advice I ever got was "Every time you play, play like you're about to get hit by lightning.  And when you finally do get hit by lightning, whatever you're doing at that moment, do it forever."

On WRQQ in Nashville, when Saving Abel says the line "go down on me" they don't censor it,  but when Alanis Morrisette says "go down on you," they do.

The television says investing in Futures might not be good for our future.  How can that be?

I was asked to be a pallbearer at my friend Steve's funeral.  I said "I think I should be a Steve Bearer instead.  I didn't even know Paul."

Ian McClagan, keyboardist for The Faces, said two things to me:

1. "People die, I don't know why, and who cares." 

2. "Nothing is worse than no music."

FDR made the fedora popular, which is appropriate since F, D and R are the only consonants in the word "fedora."

I think rock bands who play "live" to a click track should have to put the click track in the front of house mix.

As long as Americans have cable TV we will never have meaningful, organized protest .  As long as we don't have meaningful, organized protest, our government will do whatever the fuck it wants.  Period.

When I was a kid and my family was traveling through Tennessee in the summer, my father would take a package of hot dogs & leave them on the dashboard of the van in the sun with the windows rolled up.  By 1 o'clock we'd have boiled hot dogs for lunch.

My friend's new car came with a mounted camera in the bumper so he can see what's behind him by looking at a screen in his dashboard.  I guess turning his head was just too much to deal with.

I don't understand.  If freon makes air conditioning work, how come when the system runs out of freon, it freezes solid? 

One of these days I'm gonna listen to every Led Zeppelin song ever released and count the number of times Robert Plant says "baby."

Two words that should never have been brought together:  Elective Surgery.

If a widow is a woman whose husband has died, then why is the living husband called a widower when the wife dies?  Seems like the term widower should be be saved for the dead husband, since he did the widowing, no?

I think tornadoes are an early, faulty version of the toilet bowl that got away from God and never came back.