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i'd just like to let the universe know that i'm a little tired of my life falling apart. oh but how i will take this situation and make it the best possible thing that could ever happen to me. and i will do it defiantly . someone please get me a vest.
alright, so actually my life has fallen apart far more ridiculously than this before, BUT i really have no interest in looking on the bright side just yet. because i'm real pissed. i'm real pissed that my landlord lied to me, i'm real pissed that my best friend/roommate/family has to move away and i'm real pissed that i have to move back to kitsap county.
but hey, it's a beautiful fucking day, isn't it?
it's been kind of a weird couple months, but i think it's ultimately made me more resilient. and you know, i can't expect anyone to help me if i don't actually ask, right?
i'm going to find the counselor at treatment who told me that all i had to do was get clean and then life would fall into place oh so perfectly. he lied to me and i want that hour of my life back. i'll probably just waste it, but it's still mine.
although i've always known it, i think i'm starting to understand what the key to well adjustment is. and that is a delicate balance. a delicate balance of heaven and hell. maybe things don't have to be super wonderful or super horrible. maybe things can just be and that's where true contentment lies.
and one day soon i'll learn how to deliver babies, play the piano and finish a novel. tom robbins can be my best friend and i will live my days on a ridiculous farm with buffalo i keep as pets and cows that have rubber mats to sleep on. you can come with me if you want. i only have one requirement, you must despise drama while simultaneously adoring everything thats over the top and ridiculous.
i told you, really it's all about a delicate balance.
5:00 AM
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