Most clouds have silver linings. Most problems aren't bad enough to cause someone to experience overwhelming despair.

My situation is not like most.

I really need to vent. I don't know what to do.

In the last year, I have been unemployed for 9 months. I was not eligible for unemployment, so I have had ZERO source of income. I don't have anyone paying my bills. I haven't been able to borrow money from anyone. I don't have any credit cards. I have been selling off anything I own that isn't bolted down on eBay and Craigslist, and now I'm out of crap to sell.

I have sent out several hundred resumes for several hundred jobs. I have had 2 interviews.

I have hidden my car from the repossession men twice in the last few months. My tags are fakes; I couldn't afford registration. I don't have health insurance, and I am about to drop my auto insurance and take my chances driving on a suspended license (your license is automatically revoked if you fail to carry insurance).

I was recently evicted from the place I was renting. I found a room to rent, and managed to come up with rent for the first month. I kept "thinking positive" and moving forward, thinking I'll have a job soon.

Well, I don't...and rent is due in 8 days. I don't have it.

I made a $30 mistake in my bank account, and because I didn't have the minimum balance to activate my overdraft protection, a $30 mistake has resulted in $350 in overdraft fees (fuck Bank of America). I have spoken with SEVERAL people, explained my situation, and NOBODY is willing to do ANYTHING. Not even my local branch manager. Not ONE single overdraft charge has been removed. If there was such a thing as hell, I would hope that people who decided it was a good idea to profit from ripping people off would burn there.

I don't know what the fuck to do. I don't have any money to put gas in my car. I have a show opening tonight, so I'm supposed to pretend I'm happy and lift other people's spirits. For what? What about mine?

Fuck my life. Really.

Oh, and a big, hearty FUCK YOU to G W Bush for blatantly ignoring the economy as it melted down, and doing nothing about it.

Please don't think ill of me if I end up robbing a bank. I don't know what else to do - employers are simply not hiring and I am beyond desperate.