It was da night befo christmas

And all thru da hood

Not a cracka cop sterrin'

It's christmas eve...like they would

Da hoes pay da pimps for bein treated with care

Crack heads are runnin' around everywhere

Da g's were nestled all warm in their beds

Like heck they were, they was watchin' for feds

I put on my cap and prepare the roll for my cash

And hunt down all unsuspecting white trash

Wtf was I thinking, it's christmas eve, dey be sleepin'

Still I catch my weed high brotha's creepin'

So I run back to my home to sleep in my bed

When I hear some poppin' noise over my head

I walk out side to see what's goin' on

But ain't no bodies in the streats or ho's on the lawn

Then I look up to the roof top, and what should I see

But a bunch of 4 legged hoofed animals staring at me

I creap up the roof and walk around quietly

And who should I see but big fat whitey

Comes up from the chimney with a bag full of goods

I took it in my own hands to keep him from robbing the rest of the hood

He sees me creep up and he skids to a hault

I pulled out my knife, whatever I will do ain't my fault

Then suddenly I see Jesus appear from the sky

The fact this fat man stole this holiday from Him teared my eye

"Please brotha, don't put a knife to his head

WWJD, use this 22 instead"

He yelled""Now, Dasher! now, Dancer! now, Prancer and Vixen!"

I fired the gun to stop all the whinin''

Right in the leg till he fell to the porch against the wall

Luckily his fat broke his fall

I signal a local cholo to fake whistle a cab

But only to soon appear the other beaners ready to stab

I prepare the hoofed pony's ready for BBQ

Or perhaps make aunt jamima prepare reindeer stue

But I need a hose for cleaning to hide any evidence and proof

Also to get reindeer crap off the roof

After cleaning it up I hear the sound of a siren

I knew it was time for firin'

Dressed in all blue from head to foot

His hand on his gun belt where the gun had been put

He saw my face then took one step back

I had my gun aiming right at his sack

Boom bang bam! The guns fire off

While I hear all the neighbors yelling to knock it off

We stood out of bullites, for backup he called

Luckily before it was to late, we brawled

The popo now gone, I feel to awake

I figure I may go scope me out a "$20 milk shake"

But all the best hoes are away from their corner

Probably getting the job by some indian rich foreigner

So I fall to sleep to wake up in the morn

As I do ritually...I watched some porn

I went down to check on the reindeer steaks

And there was aunt Jamima makin' pancakes

My homies came down to open the presents I rapped

I rapped rhymes of my pride for being who I am

Though santa's away, I he left presents by the tree

I wonder what in the world he got for me

I look in the box, ain't nothin' but cole

Screw you Santa and Screw the north pole!