Small
When I was small, I was holding my life. Slow, steady; unexciting, but guaranteed. A sure thing. Naive and unprotected, my life was quickly spotted by the greedy and selfish; and taken away. I was abandoned by elders; left holding a broken puzzle.
Medium
Time to finish school and march forward and forget about that. It's too complex and confusing to understand. Maybe it's not so important anyway. Whatever that was, it's done. Now what?
Discovery! It's important if I want to turn it around. Whether I can help others, it depends on me! I still have a whole another life ahead of me. I can be thankful I once held that life. It led me to appreciate life's value; I now have more to offer.
Warrior
Growth is going to take awhile. But I'm pretty smart. I'll figure it out.
Buy. Sell. Even. Buy. Sell. Even. hm. What's the point of this? I'm having a good time, but is this all there is? What is it I am missing that I don't need this grand thing to be happy, when there are so many fun people everywhere to meet, and solitude is so underappreciated?
Well, I'm still alive. And I am learning a little bit about how untouched people work. It's amusing I guess.
But if I'm missing something, maybe I should concentrate on what is left instead of what is missing. What was NOT taken from me? And can I let myself want? And is there even anything of worth here -- worthy of want? And WHO the F am I?
...
...
It's been a bumpy ride.
Window Shopping
Then one day, walking home from work, there it is in the window: ART. The most beautiful painting ever. I was captivated yet careful to look from every angle: up, down, ... RAINBOWS.
What's different? Me or the painting? I'm excited to work out it's absolutely both.
But the best things are never that easy. The store was closed and the painting was tagged SOLD.
I walk home. As I continue to everyday. I pass the store, only occasionally looking up. It is in the window. But I don't really let myself look. I knew it had a happy home on day one.
Then one day, the door opens.
"Excuse me", the saleswoman interrupted, "I couldn't help but notice you so admire the painting. Are you interested?"
"Yes
!"
"Oh. That's too bad. Because it's not for sale."
And I proceed to pass by it every day, hanging in a store window, though not for sale.
HOLDING ON
Confused, I wonder what would happen if I offered everything I am plus more.
I'm not going to come up with that easy. But I heart this painting. It's time to roll the dice and roll big.
Go Lottery!
There was a reason nothing else felt worth it. I've trained for this. But now it's time to run the race. Showing up prepared isn't enough. I'm going to have to take some chances after that.
I'm laying out my clothes, printing a map, and setting the alarm for morning sunrise. I am first in line to invest further in myself, using all the capital I have, my entire life savings.
This is a no brainer. I'm closing my bank account to buy my lottery ticket.
Sunrise
The scratch-off has ten numbers. I scratch off the first two... Roses!
The odds of getting the third number, much less all ten, are exponentially more difficult.
I've got to scratch off that third number...
I start at the corner...
I can't tell.. It could be right. It could be wishful thinking...
DEEP BREATH
The sales woman is concerned for my well being:
"Look. Can you really afford to lose your life's savings? Reeallllly? How will you feel if you lose? You can't consider the lottery."
"Nothing feels nervous these days," I grin. "The painting makes every decision easy; and happy!"
But she remains serious. "If you go home to see what the next number is, when you come back, the painting could be gone. Or even if it goes to auction, you could be outbid there too. Your ticket is worth something. Why not sell your ticket before you scratch off another number?"
Yes, my ticket is worth more now that two of the numbers are good. But here's the thing. It's only worth what I can buy. And I'm bidding for this painting. It's my dREam. Why would I give up the cover art for whatever is on page two?
I've seen all the angles. I've even used mirrors. This painting is all rainbows, and I surmise -- a pot of gold for the one who risks adventures to its end.
FAIR WARNING
"You're acting illogical to yourself. You could do lots of things with that wherewithall."
Well yeah. But self logic went out the window. This is art. I've never envoked logic with art. That's the whole point. That's how art is defined: when logic no longer matters.
Art is priceless! As the store saleswoman, I know she appreciates this. She's devoted so much of her life to this. This painting wasn't randomly trusted here. She knows her product.
DOUBLE DOGG DARE ME?
I'll scratch off another number right now. I could only regret not trying. So smile and toss me another coin. I've heard of rainbows that go forever.
~Owlin