It's true I found out the hard way.  For those who know me, know I'm a tall skinny lanky son of a bitch.  Well anyone else built like that beware your lungs can just go flat because of that and there is no medical reason behind it. Fucked up aint it. Here is kind of a drugged up timeline of the events in the way i think they went down. So i wake up thursday morning 3/22/07 to watch butler in the tournament, i wake up give it a good stretch and was like whoa shit that hurts.  A pain i have never felt before in my chest, 3 things ran thru my mind. 1) where are my smokes ( i have quit since then, honestly i have) 2) shit i think im getting a chest cold (man was i way off) and 3) i should take a shower then clean this place up ( my apartment).  So i find my smokes, take a shower, clean the apartment and never did i feel any better.  Go to my parents who also live in indy, and i go online check some shit out on that webmd or whatever it is and i select a few symptons and it says you should be dead but get help if you are alive.  Now the journey begins.  I get asked a few questions at the hospital the most humorous one was, "do you take any recreational drugs?" before i could answer "Like heroine or crack?"  Shit lady those are not my choices of recreational drugs but no.  So they throw me into a shock room, swear to god its called a shocked room for a moment i was fearful for my life.  Im getting swapped down with this brown shit and one bitch shaking in her seat trying to put a needle in my arm, i really felt like i was in Pulp Fiction during all of this, i even asked the guy when does the black felt tip marker come out and the needle thru my chest?  Well needle(ss) to say everyone was kind of laughing cause even one lunged i can still be funny i guess.  Well i shouldn't of been making jokes cause i look down to my right arm and blood is running everywhere and this poor girl student crackhead whore completely fucked up the iv and blood is everywhere and to make it worse she put it right where i bend my arm, which proved to be fucking painful later that week.  Speaking of that anyone pursueing being a nurse or doctor dont put a fucking IV where people bend their arms, go down an inch or so shit. So they dope me up on morphine and i was actually awake and not drugged up then came the demeral (Spelling im unsure but shit you try spelling that on percocets).  So after everything was said and done i get to lay in a hospital for like 4 days with a tube coming out of my chest between my ribs on the left and a IV painfully inserted in my right arm.  It gets better.  Oh and as i write this I DO NOT I REPEAT DO NOT want any sympathy replies to this for this is not why im writing this.  So a few friends come by to see me, plent of phone calls and it just hit me.  Shit its just a lung fuck it i got two of em and on one lung i was able to shower/clean/smoke(i find settle humor in that one)/eat/ and i could of possibly had sex... no i could of, in fact come to think of i dont know of any circumstance i wouldn't be able to have sex.  Sorry just a random thought that ran thru, fucking percocets.  The nurses were all bitches except one old lady she was truly a sweetheart the rest made sure i took my painkillers and didn't give them away or stash them.  You fucking morons im laying here in pain you really think im going to pass up a painpill, not my fault your husband cheats on ya shit i would too.  Thats a different story all together and just so i dont further confuse my audience i wont go there.  So doc sends me home, gives me a prescription and says see ya in a week.  Go to the pharmacy and they say yeah this will take us like an hour and a half to fill this. Didn't think anything of that at first, well we go back to get the drugs and they apologized for the long wait they didn't have enough percocets on hand to fill my bottle..... He gave me a 100 percocets.  Yes not 10....100.  Now I am a doctor of many different fields but not in the medical field. Wouldn' you give someone lets say like 40 pills with one or 2 refills?  Nah fuck it here ya go son take a 100 of them. Wow. The only part that really sucks about all of this, is a tube out of my chest with a valve on it that lets air out of my chest cavity but not in and it hurts, but i have a 100 percocets so i guess its a give and take kind of thing right?  And if someone rubs my tube just right my leg twitches..... no i thought that was kind of funny if it did.
   So with pretty much all of that said i go in tomorrow morning for surgery, well they are scoping my lung and spraying a powderish film on it or some shit to patch any holes or something.  So it will finally be fixed tomorrow morning and probably spend a day or two in the hospital and finally be able to rest peacefully on the couch fucked up on painkillers and playing xbox.  SO i like i said before please no sympathy post because Smokey dont need both lungs, infact if surgery gets all fucked up and it has to be removed, I will keep it and turn it into a bong, and i know one other person who would join me in that ritual, god knows what kind of high that will bring.  That is all i have to say about that.  So for all you skinny fuckers out there like myself, yes its okay to still laugh at other people cause they are fatter than you, but remember your lung might just pull a flat on your ass and ain't nothing funny about that....cause you might be making fun of a fatty and poof your lung pops and a fatty chases you down... seriously make fun from a safe distance from now on.
  

  Sincerely

Smokeybonez