polly is ill
her stomach is swollen
they all think its an infection
i don't know what to think
she used to be so pretty
in her dresses
they're all gone now
the dresses
and the ribbons
somewhere in the drawers
locked up
and i spent hours
gnawing and scratching
all i wanted was to get back in
to give her back her things
and her parents sat me down and told me she was very sick
and that she was going to die
and i felt strangely calm
and then i started to sob
i locked myself in my room that night
put a little sign on the door
everyone was worried and i knew this because they were all banging on my
door and crying
and inside i was playing at trains
making them smash into eachother
and imagining all the people screaming and bleeding and dying
and in that moment i saw lots of things
the zillions of funerals all over the world
all the bad people who hurt eachother
because they don't see beneath the skin
the banging was getting louder
and their sobs were becoming screams and beggings
and at the root of my spine, there grew a little tingling
and as it climbed up
and leaked out into the warm spot
i felt them
the eight furies
Izanami
her darling brother
Amaterasu Susano and Tsuki-yomi
yes
his transcendance
for he was pure
and in the darkness i climbed the hill
watched the inky black ferocity of the ocean
and the bodies
the air was crisp
and unto it i spilled the waste
my misunderstandings

polly died on tuesday
i visited her in the metal room
she was wearing her favourite dress
and her hair gave rest to the most beautiful ribbons
she looked so pretty
and i wanted to kiss her on the cheek
or even perhaps the lips
but they wouldn't let me
and so now i place the bolt across my door
lie under the covers
close my eyes
and paint pictures of her corpse
touching myself as the wolves savage it.