I don't think I've ever really given too much thought about the act of celebrating the coming of another 365 days of my life. I've worn the little party hats, blown into those weird noisy things, set off fireworks, proved to everyone I can count down from ten, blah blah blah... I think I've even kissed someone at the moment the "ball dropped." but I don't think I've completely understood why. Why has only an evening been set aside to say goodbye to 365 days of life experience? I've tried to live my life being thankful for each day and consider each time I wake as something to be celebrated. I couldn't possibly cover it all (in retrospect) in only a matter of hours and then just... kiss it goodbye.  Besides, all I'm saying goodbye to is a calendar year.  Something that makes it easier for me to document my life, something like a good reference point.  It's not like the year is packing up and going somewhere on a cruise or indefinite vacation.  My experiences (whether haunting or comforting) will still linger as if it just happened yesterday. 

Maybe the "New Year" is just symbolic.  Some idea that we believe in so much that it becomes a truth.  Another reason to spend money, another reason to bring the family together, another reason to drink massive amounts of alcohol, another reason to sit around and judge yourself because you did or didn't keep your resolutions that you wanted so badly to accomplish.  None of it makes sense to me, but I really want it to.  New Year's Eve has been like any other holiday to me... I try my best to act like I know what I'm celebrating, but deep down I am so damn confused and would rather just continue on about my life as if nothing in particular was going on. 

Aside from all of that, I'm still going to some party tonight.  Just like I would any other time I am invited to one.  There will be a lot of alcohol, but I won't be drunk.  If someone hands me a party hat or a noise maker, I suppose I'll use it.  I still won't know why. 

Also, to those who left me kudos on my other blog entry -- why must you torment me? Secondly, I read "Privacy: Public" as "Privacy: Pubic" on the blog settings for this particular entry.  Pretty awesome.