ABOUT WORKING ON HOLIDAY WEEKENDS:

I'm not BITTER. You should see the sweater I am wearing! It's cranberry. No one could be bitter in this sweater. It has lots of holes in it, but on purpose, because of the way it is knit, and it has a zipper. With a velvety tab that helps you pull it up and down! This sweater assumes you might need help (RETARD!), or that you have really fat fat fingers that can't grasp the standard metal zipper size (and seriously, it is already an oversized zipper!), or maybe fingers that are made of immovable metal rods, like long spoon handles, also, if they think you can't zip up THAT zipper, this sweater must be assuming that my fly is down. Because how on earth would I be able to get these sausage digits and/or ting tong tong tongs to plier on to THAT tiny zipadoodle! And in that case this sweater should be longer because an open fly would show in this situation. God this FUCKING SWEATER! How could it betray me so! What have I done to this fucking sweater that would cause IT to make all of these fucking assumptions about me! Wanting me to show my front crotch all over the everywhere I am wearing it in. Stupid damn sweater.

At any rate, I am not bitter. But I am working today, the first day of a long holiday weekend. I am wearing a sweater because it is so cold in here. It is 88 degrees outside. I am so sorry. A quick check of the weather.com site says it is 83. I am so sorry.

I am employed as a typingmonger!