So, i really don't have anything to say just feel like writing. Im tired of feeling sad, but it seems like it comes and goes so i maybe getting better, i dunno. i have alot to look forward to pirates day...hope my outfit comes in, wicked...it will be so cool, My chemical romance...thank you dianne =), lots of concerts in the summer, trip to NJ, and something big for my birthday. Yet i feel like something is missing i always feel like something is missing, i have fun but sometimes i find myself just going along with the emotions. I know part of me is still missing him ( friends know his name) but i cant, well im trying not to. it is just hard cuz he made things worth it...when it was good. and that little add on to the sentence is why i am trying not to miss him. i want back the guy i knew that made everything seem just a little bit better, shine just a little bit brighter cuz he was there. but he is not that guy but a shell of a man he once was. i was willing to help and i still am but he is what he is, he had a choice and chose to be where he is. why God only knows, but i hope one day i can see him smile like he did and i hope for the same for me. If i had my way he would be in my life and i would do anything to make his life better, but he would have to want better just as much as i want better for him. its hard to love and hate a person but, i guess some people just get so far under your skin they get to your heart. he fixed me i just wish i could have fixed him, not to make him better to make him see he was and still is better.