Nothing is wrong but i feel its not right.Smiling when your sad, laughting when your hurt...Why? I want more why can't i say that? why can't i have that? why is everything so diffcult? I know many would say stop asking question and do it but i did it before and it made my life worst.I want to feel worth it, but i settled on just being.i don't like not knowing what i want fully. i use to but now i don't really know.I want him but i don't want to deal with the pain. people say to me why him why bother and sometimes i can't tell them i love him cuz i don't know anymore. i care so much i forget me and when he is not there i remember to make myself happy and its great,but i always find myself at the end of the night wishing i could have that much fun with him like i use to. i hate this. do i love him? yes i know i do and i will forever. But am i in love with him?......sometimes i don't know and it scares me. i think he finally did it he push me to the end of my rope and now i have nowhere to go.