"It will never be known what acts of cowardice have been motivated by the fear of looking insufficiently progressive."

- Charles Peguy from "Notre Patrie" (1905)

I was introduced to this quote by my former teacher Frank La Rocca. Whose work I greatly admire, especially his choral stuff. I remember reading of his orchestral piece "Crossing the Rubicon" and the parallel of his change in style to Aaron Copland's in the late 1930's. For those of you that don't know Copland you will hear his influence upon almost every soundtrack involving the American countryside (and the 'ole West). He consciously wanted to reach out to the broadest possible audience and therefore wrote in a more accessible style. Who is to say that his new writing is of less merit than his former angular atonal language? In addition, who is to say that a struggling folk musician that made it big (eg. Kimya Dawson's music from the movie "Juno") is so much different than what Copland or many other contemporary composers that achieve some success have also done.

As in my essay "Dark Reflections..." I speak of classical musics' (aka Western Art Music) sometimes dogmatic and patriarchal view and its marginalized fanbase that tends to revel in its obscurity or exclusivity...admonishing others and dealing mainly with people into the same thing. It is also of note to recognize that "Classical" music is the poorest selling genre today. So for me and the other 99.7% of "Classical" composers out there...this is not for the money.

The criticism I receive mainly revolves around a "mainstream" voice that overshadows my modernist attitude (at least in my older works) . The thing is, I have many musical spheres I work within. If you have a good set of ears you would have noticed the strong return of tonality (in contemporary classical music), albeit not exactly functional as we are taught in school, but functional within itself. Yes, I write tonal music. Yes, I write film music. But I also write experimental, aleotoric, electronic, atonal, and even Death Metal music. Eclectic...yes. Most of the work on my page was written 2-4 years ago and to my great honor it has been received well. Just because it has been released by a label and I help promote it on my site does not mean I am attempting to sell my soul with shameless self-promotion. Why do you think there are so many musicians on MySpace - let alone the Internet (especially "Classical" composers)??? Furthermore...why do we even perform music live??? Because we want others to HEAR IT!!! To quote Bernard Herrmann: "What good is music if it's not heard!?"

Nowadays, I write in an ever changing style (The Vertigo Series was written 3 years ago), my newest works are not up here, I only have a single movement of a set of piano miniatures which is relatively new compared to all the other pieces. I am carving out my voice and honing in on things I wish to make my own. So, while creating a caricature of me may help alleviate your own insecurities as a composer and subdue deeper (musical) meanings; there is nontheless, a fundamental problem that will always haunt you. You must figure this out on your own... Throughout history, we have seen criticism to artists from their peers (or worse - from mere critics) - ridiculing other's work because of either its popularity and/or accessibility (eg. Metallica, Green Day, Steven Spielberg, John Williams, Aaron Copland, Arvo Part, Phillip Glass, Danny Elfman). I cannot speak for those artists but I can speak for myself. I write what I want to hear. No more...no less. I love and live to create...and if someone that hears my work is touched in any way, then that is a wonderful thing. I believe that there is beauty in simplicity and you can create a complex universe with simple undercurrents. I will continue to evolve and utilize everything in my musical spheres in order to harness the energy I wish to conduce to the listener.

If this monologue still perplexes your understanding of my artistic integrity - then know this. I will write what I want to write. Are we still at the crossroads? I'll walk my path.