Hello fellow life-travellers,

I hope you've been able to bear the tribulations of this past week.

Today, I'd like to share my thoughts about an email I recieved from my buddy Brent, as follows:

Dear Jesus,

Long time listener, first time caller. Really love the show. thanks for all you do.

Is being gay bad? i was a skater in high school, and everyone called us skater fags. We didn't really care 'cause they were shallow jocks. Why is it that people get so offended if you call them gay?

AND, i have to ask. . . . is the wrestling team a gateway drug to homosexuality? one of the guys that gave us a hard time for being "skater fags" was on the wrestling team. well, now that we're all adults, he's decided he's gay. what does this all mean?

Also while i've got your attention. If you were having crab cakes served over some sort of fancy grits, what kind of wine would you turn water into to compliment that.

Thanks a ton, big J!

Brent

You're welcome!

This subject has been the cause of a lot of confusion for a long time.  Honestly, all the contoversy sometimes makes me wish I'd been sent to be the Savior of Mars, as I occasionally feel like some of you people purposely refuse to get what I've been saying.  Then I take a deep breath, do a little TM, and things begin to mellow again.  Now that I've chilled, I'll address Brent's questions in the order they appear.

1) Is being gay bad?

Let's get to the heart of this question: Is it okay for two mature paeople to love each other?  Hmmmmm?  Well, I think you know where I come down on that.  It's what I've been talking about for the past, ohhhh... let me check my records... TWO THOUSAND YEARS!

Do I think it's wrong for that love to evolve into Ess-Ee-Ex?

What do I care?  As long as you don't force yourself on anyone (and that includes children and farm animals -- the two of which have a startling number of similarities), then it's all cool, bro.

2) Why is it people get offended when you call them gay?

Because they're afraid of being lumped into a group they themselves helped ostracize.  It's like the days of the Salem witch trials -- "Don't call me a witch"  Or the days of the Communist "Red Scare."  Or the days of the "Dirty Jap" during WWII.  Or the days of the "Dirty Hippy" during the Vietnam conflict.  Or the days of the "Red Savage" during America's colonial expansion.  Or the days of America's Immigration "plague" during the early 1900's (or, well, now).

Americans, like a lot of the rest of the world, love to hate, even while invoking my name.  Even a six-year-old knows you don't wanna be in that hated group.  Because once you get admitted, then the real trouble starts!

3) & 4)  Is the wrestling team a gateway drug to homosexuality?  One of the guys that gave us a hard time for being "skater fags" was on the wrestling team.  Well, now that we're all adults, he's decided he's gay. What does this all mean?

I'm a big fan of wresting (Both classic Greco-Roman and arena style)!  During my first go-round, me and my 12 bodyguards (I believe you people refer to them as "disciples") used to mix it up all the time.  Remember, we didn't have tv, and most of those dudes were illiterate, so we'd entertain ourselves with a little rough-house on occassion.  Did it make those guys gay?  Not that I know of.  But I always had a "Don't as, don't tell" policy, so I wouldn't really know.  I will say this: We spent many a cold desert night huddled together during our travels, and, in those situations, sometimes your junk gets touched in the dark.  Nothing ever happened with me, but I'm just sayin'.

Anyway, people achieve self-awareness through a variety of methods -- sounds like your wrestling dude didn't arrive at it until later in life.  Hopefully, you won't hold his high school behavior against him now.  We're all turds in some way during those years.

5)  If you were having crab cakes served over some sort of fancy grits, what kind of wine would you turn water into to compliment that?

Me personally?  I'd turn it into beer.

Thanks Brent.  Now, if everyone who's reading this would go out and do at least one nice thing for someone today, we'll be one step closer to paradise.

Love and peace,

-J