I say all the time that the "proof is in the puddin." What i mean by this is pretty much that ACTIONS speak louder than words. I am seriously not happy with  several people right now. I am not going to mention any names because there is really no point. People will be people. People are stupid and ignorance seems to be an airborn disease that follows people like a plague. I am constantly amazed that so many people are openly allowed to have their opinions about people without ever getting to know those people. For instance... When Pat was at Faulkner there were so many half truths about me floating around, it makes me sick!! There were rumors that i was the "lobby player" and that i took girls out and had sex with them. #1 i have NEVER had sex and am probably one of the only virgins you know. Have i messed up and done things i am not proud of, YES< but i have never gone all of the way. At Faulkner the rumors got SO bad that i had to have a meeting with Mama Stouch about it. I NEVER not ONE time even KIssed not ONE female that was enrolled in school. Have I ever gone out with someone after graduation or when they weren't at Faulkner, yes but i had this bad rap because why, because I'm a flirt. Is flirting a sin?? i'm not sure, but i know being a Gossip is one thing God says he Hates!

2ndly I have really worked very hard on being a good guy. However people believe whatever they want to believe and i have recently heard more than once that MY FRIENDS have told girls that are in or around our group of core friends to NOT go out with matthew, or I could never date matthew, or you dont want to date him because i know "how he is with girls." WHAT A LOAD OF CRAP!!! I beg you to go and talk to the girls i have dated. I have been out with 4 girls in the last 3 years and i havent even kissed more 10 minutes with all of them combined, yet somehow i am some big time slut. I'm pretty ticked right now and probably shouldnt be typing right now, i probably should turn this stupid thing off and go driving or vent to a friend, but right now I am just SICK of how everyone seems to have a definite opinion about who Matthew Morrow is and how he does or doesnt treat girls. I ask you you to find a girl i have dated and ask her of we were involved in church, if i have my beliefs and work ethic in order, if i EVER took advantage of them, if I ever treated them poorly. I have been so blessed to go out with some wonderful ladies. I am not going to mention names, but the 4 girls i have dated these last 3 years have all be such amazingly sweet girls. I consider each one of them special, sweet, and beautiful. i would never have asked them out if i thought it wouldnt work out, and it certainly wasnt just to make out with someone cause we didnt even do anything! People get together and talk to each other, they take the little snips of opinions they have had, mix them all together, talk about it, and then they figure out how i am or am not. The only problem with this is, the whole time they are figuring out this opinion they arent spending time with ME. Being with or around me is the only way to know me. You cant have a friendship or more if you dont spend time with that person.

How come people always want to share dirt! TICKS ME OFFFFFFFF!!! We are supposed to be Christians and encourage one another, build each other up, and hold each other to a higher standard. How often do people say how many times i have helped them in a jam, helped them move, lead a bible study, how often i am involved in church. No they say matthews big flirty whore, matthew's stuck on himself and his ego is out of control, blah, blah, blah!!

In closing there are so few people that take the time to get to know you. You might have a 1000 friends, but if you are blessed with just one close friend you are truly blessed. I am very richly blessed to have many close friends. i could name them, but i am pretty sure they know how special they are to me because i regularly tell them how much i love them. You know why people deny Christ and dont want to be a part of a church family, its because of backstabing gossiping freaks who come to church and have nothing better to do than to raise eyebrows and judge others on things they THINK those people are or are not doing. What a load of crap!

I am so glad that i am covered with Grace, and the Lord has forgiven me, and loves me. I pray that my attitude will be better, and that this bad blood in me will soon be out. I am such a loving teddy bear and i want to be liked so badly that i try too hard to be liked and then i just feel hurt and betrayed when i find out that people i consider friends have said hurtful and negative things about me. If you have been spewing off at the mouth or openly giving your opinion about me and it is not positive, COME TO ME BEFORE YOU SAY IT! Tell me, please! Talk to me, be my friend, if i am in sin and you are my friend, hold me accountable, dont go tell people that i am screwup. Get the 2 X 4 out of your eye before you come to tell me about Giant Oak tree thats in mine.

in the end... i probably shouldnt have written this.... nothing good can come from it, people will believe whatever they want to believe.... I have no control over it and i will just need to continue to try and be better everyday. I love my family, friends, and my Lord and i pray that my relationships with all of them will continue to grow. I love you all! I really do! Believe me if i have an issue with anyone i will go to them, my prayer is that u will offer me the same chance. I...I am still stewing.... i'm ticked and 3 pages later i am still mad.... I pray a good nights sleep will calm me down and keep me from giving the devil a foothold. AGH! BLAH!!

Taking it one day at a time,

Matthew