Last Saturday, my sister RayRay and I drove home to Columbus for the night. On the way, we started talking bout this weird new diet that could be beneficial in our goal of each losing 30lbs by Spring Break aka The next time we see JoJo and Lance, our sister and bro-in-law.
You see, while visiting them in Tucson this Thanksgiving, the three of us decided to, in the next several months, attempt to get healthier, i.e. lose weight.
We even drew up a contract, lol. A binding contract. This is (basically) what the contract states:
"We, Josie, Cristina and Lorraine, promise to blah blah blah..." OK. I realize you really might not care about this much, so i'll just fast forward to the good part--
"If Josie does not lose 30lbs by the weekend of March 16th, her punishment is to eat half of a medium RAW onion." JoJo hates onion.
"If Lorraine does not lose 30lbs... her punishment is to eat," and bare w/ me w/ this... it's a little odd, but we couldn't come up w/ anything better, lol. "...raisins covered in ranch dressing." I came up with it, lol. I'm sorry I'm so lame, rayray. *shrugs*
And finally...
"If Cristina does not lose 30lbs.... her punishment is to eat two large eggs." Oh boy, do I hate eggs. The mere site of them makes me start to get that throw up taste in my mouth. I do actually throw up if i eat them... ask rayary.
Anyway, moving on... the point is that i went on this crazy new diet yesterday. It's called the Master Cleanser, or "The lemonade diet." And in a nutshell, it's a fast. For 10 days.
I'm on day 2 and I'm dying.
"A fast?" You might be asking... "for 10 days??? That ain't healthy!" but it seems to check out alright. Here's what it's made of:
Water, of course, 8-10 oz
2 Tbsp of fresh lemon juice
2 Tbsp of real maple syrup
Cayanne pepper, to taste
Drink this 6-12 times a day. Or whenever you find yourself getting hungry. Ugh.
Oh--and in addition to this "lemonade," i have to drink a dietary herbal tea aka laxative tea. And you see... this would not be such a problem, if i didn't literally have to be to work and school every single freaking day! I dont wanna be a shitty-rider! (pardon my french, jor) I dont wanna poop myself! Oh man... if i did, i'm sure i would most definitely quit. Yup. I would. Without a doubt. Ugh.
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Yea, i know what you're thinking... i'm stupid, right? Well, right about now I'm thinking the same... especially cuz I want to eat EVERYTHING in sight!!! But not cuz I'm hungry... more like cuz i'm bored. BINGO. And that's the deal w/ my weight problem. I'm a bored eater. 95% of the time that I eat, it isn't because I'm hungry, but because there simply isn't anything better to do. Which is neither true, nor good for me. So, hopefully this extreme plan will be the thing that breaks me of that stupidity. Cuz, like I told Rayray on our way to Columbus sat night, "I'm so sick of this fat suit! I've been hiding in it for waaaay too long! I'm ready to get out!" *smiles*
Ok, the other major problem that i'm having, (other than the wanting to eat everything in site) is maintaining my will throughout all this. I mean really! It's only been 2 freaking days and I'm already ready to quit? I suck. Big time. And the fact that I hate myself every single time those thoughts pop into my head, is almost enough to make me keep pushing on... but that's not quite enough. I'm too dependent on you guys. And I hate it. I mean, can I not do anything on my own!? Ugh! So please, for the next two days especially, (The book says that days 2-4 are the hardest to get through b/c your brain and body are fighting over you) but then for the next 6 as well, bare with me, cuz I need you. And i need it in the medium of "tough love" lol meaning, when i get down... don't just tell me "if you're not feeling well (which, im not gonna feel well apparently for the next couple of nights b/c i'm in "detox," then you should think about not doing it."
Remember this: I'm going to do this. I have to. I have a major comitment problem and i'm not interested in giving up this time. Even tho i'm being a little bitch and complaining alot.
Ok, back to what I "DO" need: You to show me (well, when it comes up) that it's not an option for me to quit, even tho I'm going to be "talking" about quitting. If you have to--beat it out of me! :-) But be gentle... no one makes me bleed my own blood. (lmao)
Ok, stupid Zoolander quotes aside... I really don't mean to be a pain during this process because "I chose to do it" but it's just hard! But i assure you all, after this is over, not only will we party (my last day is Fri Jan 19th) it up on my birthday, Sat Jan 20th, and get me all unhealthy again, lol, but i plan on being a slllightly better person too. ;-) Cuz i actually made myself a promise, and stuck to it for once. I can't even express to you how badly I can't wait for that feeling to just wash over me... *smiles*