last night, on my way to the show, i had a burning urge for.... rollercoastering..... i took a detour into disneyland and went straight for the rollercoaster on the california side. the daylong rain and chill made for perfect, empty lines.... walked right through... there's nothing quite as good as getting to let out the stress of the week by screaming like a giddy, school girl.... and that i was.... went around 4 times in a row.... then jumped back in the car and sped to the show...

later, i started thinking about, or wondering if i was cheating myself... just going for the cheap thrill and the quick-fix adrenalin rush... cutting out all the waiting and anticipation or buildup...

by focusing only on the instant gratification or rush, am i deadening myself to the rest of the "beauty" or fantasy of what the entire disneyland experience is supposed to be? or is this what my life has become... weeding out the time-consuming foofoorah, the pretty dressing, and going straight for the jugular... cutting to the chase...

did i just kill off a little child-like wonder in exchange for the self-feeding, instant quickie-on-demand?

naw.... it was awesome.... and i WAS screaming like a little girl....