Sarah, you really are too much. When you announced that you were going to start the second season of The Sarah Silverman Program in October in honor of my birthday, I thought that was so sweet. Recently, though, I saw that the debut episode is actually on my birthday, October 3rd! You must have really called in some favors at Comedy Central HQ to make that happen. How you ever managed to squeeze your program in among many possible scheduling conflicts -- what with all those reruns of Mad TV and the contractual necessity of airing The Money Pit at least twice a month ... Needless to say, it must've taken hours of negotiating that I don't even want to know the scope of, lest I might think you went through too much trouble. I really do appreciate it.

You may be shocked, Sarah, to see this blog post so candidly discussing our relationship for the whole world to read. I figured since our relationship, via my birthday, is actually influencing a cable station's programming schedule that there was no longer any sense in hiding our deep, deep love for each other. And the hot sex. The sweet, hot, sweaty, toe-curling sex. Your pussy's like a song. Something by Led Zeppelin, maybe.

Love always,
Daymon