You start to not lose your faith in God, but your faith in the proclaimed God’s people. Things are wrong and it’s like you are the only one who sees it and cares. You believe in God but when it comes down to it you start to believe that it is the people that are expected to move for God that have the power. Then when they do not commence the movement, you start to subconsciously lose faith in the power of God because of your surroundings. You began to weep and cry out to God for an entire nation hours on end. Daily you wake up and live in grief and sadness. After extended periods of what appears to be nothing, you decide instead of hurting and crying over something no one really cares to address and acknowledge; to ignore it and move on with “life” until you go to Heaven. You have already done more now than many do in lifetimes, so Heaven has your name on it. You start to drink, hang out, and kick it with the peanut gallery but you are not there. You can be the best with the worst of them, but you are not them. The fights, the women, the highs, the cops and they praise you like a king. Yet, you are dead to it. You don’t understand how they live for such pettiness. It doesn’t matter to you and it never satisfies you. This is not your life and this is not what you were born to do. They do not understand and how could you expect them to understand when they were not given what you are given.  To surrender it all for the call means you are going to be HATED, LOVED, and FEARED. They say you are but one man trying to change the world, what can you expect to do? I believe in the power of God.  RAIN ON ME!