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kirk



Last Updated: 11/20/2009

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Gender: Male
Status: In a Relationship
Age: 36
Sign: Virgo

City: Las Vegas
State: Nevada
Country: US

Who Gives Kudos:



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Tuesday, November 14, 2006 

Category: Blogging

(Repost because I've been getting a lot of blog views lately and this best sums me up)

 

A while ago someone asked me to do one of those surveys so they could learn more about me. I hate those things and refuse to do them. (i.e. too lazy)*  The closest I got was doing one of those funny name games but it was a disaster because I have a funny last name already and a one letter middle name.

 

Kirk W Buckendorf

 

The last name is the German language's fault but the middle name is because of this guy:

 

 

He was my dads best friend from high school who passed away too early. I met Kirk's mother when I was a kid at one of my dads reunions and asked her what the W stood for. She said, "It was that bastard-son-of-a-bitch father of his. I changed it to just W after we divorced when Kirk was still a baby." Thats all she would say. So I guess my middle name stands for, "That bastard-son-of-a-bitch."

 

I'm not going to do one of those stupid surveys, instead I'm going to do this blog. Which is way more work than I want to do but if I'm hit by a car tomorrow how cool will be when this is left behind as my last act on earth.

 

Here I am as a baby.

 

 

They didn't pose me; I used to sit like that all the time anyway, because that's how I rolled.

 

Here's my mom and me. She was a hottie and I'm not ashamed nor do I feel wrong for pointing that out. Someone once said it was gross that I would say that about my mom.

 

 

Cindy Crawford's mole? Totally stolen from my mom.

 

Here's my dad and I playing with his slot cars.

 

 

He was wearing those cool black glasses before they were popular with the hipster-doufess/emo set. My dad could beat up any emo-kids dad.

 

I used to stick my tongue out like that when concentrating, but dad broke me of that. He would flick it with his finger and say, "put yer tongue in yer mouth." It was an effective technique. To this day I disdain people who stick their tongues out like that. My utter disgust of people chewing with their mouths open comes from him also. "Chew with yer mouth closed."

 

I was confused then, but now I know he was saying, "yer the one that I love and I dont want you looking like an idiot in public."

 

I think I was a pretty good-looking kid in the beginning.

 

 

But then something went terribly wrong.

 

 

Dont fuck with me, I had two, count them, TWO yellow stripes on my belt.

 

The only way to explain my life as a kid is that it was exactly like Napoleon Dynamite. In fact when my brother and I saw that movie we didn't have to say anything. We just looked at each other and knowingly nodded. They had stolen our childhood story and made it a movie.

 

Moon boots? Wore them, even in summer. Shiny glitter 70s print t-shirts? Check. Dragging a He-Man figure on a string on the pavement to see what would happen? Absolutely.

 

And then there was drawing. Luckily my grandma had an eye for artistic genius and saved some of these gems:

 

 

The K being backwards on my name? That was on purpose for artistic reasons. Dont believe me? Heres my signature today:

 

 

I was dreaming up new animal combinations before Napoleon ever came up with that wimpy liger.

 

 

Pssshhh, ligers bred for their magical powers. Everyone knows that is so fake. You dont get magical powers when crossbreeding animals. I mean a flying saber-toothed horse with ram horns is going to kick ass without any magical powers.

 

I dont have any of the drawings I did of any of the girls I had crushes on. I stupidly gave them to the girls thinking it would impress them and maybe get me laid. I didn't just shade the upper lip, I did chiaroscuro on the whole portrait. (Using fancy art terms didnt impress the chics either). In fact it wasn't until I stopped drawing girls that I started getting laid. So I've never drawn a portrait for a girl since. (Except in life drawing classes and I wasn't trying to get laid there, I was honing my skills.)

 

I didn't have a ginger afro like Napoleon, but my hair fashion sense was quite impressive nonetheless.

 

 

I drew a lot of cars too.

 

 

And here's me with my first car:

 

 

It was a 240Z with a small block Chevy crammed under the hood. My, "Japanese Corvette." I guess I may have started coming back around looks-wise.

 

At least I know how to get laid, now.

 

 

 

 

*I always see i.e. used but really wasnt sure what it was an abbreviation for.  I knew what it meant because of context but I figured Id better look it up before using it. Now I know.

 

i.e.
abbr. Latin

id est (that is).

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Okay, jeans tight-tolled at the ankles? Priceless. You're right, they stole your childhood and made Napolean Dynamite. If I promise to get you laid, will you draw a picture of me? It'll involve cottage cheese, I swear.
 
Posted by on Wednesday, June 28, 2006 - 9:33 PM
[Reply to this
kirk

 
Why yes, these are Bugle Boy jeans I'm wearing...
 
Posted by kirk on Wednesday, June 28, 2006 - 9:40 PM
[Reply to this
kirk

 

Hey, Bugle Boy jeans were the shit back then. And I would wager greatly that even you had a pair or two.

Or at least slept with a guy who had a pair around his ankles at the time.


 
Posted by kirk on Wednesday, June 28, 2006 - 9:45 PM
[Reply to this
kirk

 

Well, pardon moi, Miss Frasier Crane... (that's the image I'm getting of how you talk as I read your Dead Grandfather blog right now...)

 


 
Posted by kirk on Wednesday, June 28, 2006 - 10:06 PM
[Reply to this


 
P.S. Careful with the "i.e." Many people use it when, in fact, they mean "e.g." (exampli gratia). Did I mention Latin was my "foreign language" as an undergrad?
 
Posted by on Wednesday, June 28, 2006 - 9:36 PM
[Reply to this
kirk

 
Well god damn it, did I use it correctly or not? You said, "be careful," but you didn't correct me. So I'm assuming I'm right... I mean I looked it up and everything.
 
Posted by kirk on Wednesday, June 28, 2006 - 9:39 PM
[Reply to this


 
Where's my portrait, goddamnit? You want to reap the sumptuous delights of my grammatical skills without giving anything in return. Quid pro quo, Dr. Lechtor.
 
Posted by on Wednesday, June 28, 2006 - 10:25 PM
[Reply to this
kirk

 

Hey GODDAMNIT, you promised sexual favors for said portrait and now you're just offering grammatical tutoring.

I feel like I've been bait and swtiched, here. At least some cottage cheese.

Christ on a crutch, see what happens when guys are asked to do portraits?


 
Posted by kirk on Wednesday, June 28, 2006 - 10:48 PM
[Reply to this


 
Why, thank you very much! I'm a reformed grammar nazi, actually. But everything else Kirk said about me is true. Too true.
 
Posted by on Wednesday, June 28, 2006 - 10:22 PM
[Reply to this
kirk

 

A Boozy Irish Grammar Nazi Nun at that...

It took away all my apostrophies and quatation marks on my first post. I think I found them all, though.

I'm sure Drunky will let me know.


 
Posted by kirk on Wednesday, June 28, 2006 - 9:48 PM
[Reply to this
yuri todded
yuri todded

 

just wait till scotchy McPotatohead gets drunk, all her grammatical skills go right out the window.


 
Posted by yuri todded on Thursday, June 29, 2006 - 12:30 AM
[Reply to this
SM

 
That was awesome!!!! 
And Yeah, your mom was a hottie!!

And there is nuthin wrong with moon boots..nuthin at all!!

 
Posted by SM on Wednesday, June 28, 2006 - 9:48 PM
[Reply to this
kirk

 

C'mon... Moonboots in summer? Those fuckers are way too hot.

Why didn't my dad ever say, "take off those moon boots!" or, "karate makes you look like a major dork!"


 
Posted by kirk on Wednesday, June 28, 2006 - 9:57 PM
[Reply to this
kirk

 

I was still a little kid... I didn't really start sweating like a man would sweat untill about the akward karate stage.

There was this super hot chic in that karate class and I loved being paired with her. I thought I might of had a chance.

And now I see in that photo what she probably saw then... Poor, poor girl.


 
Posted by kirk on Wednesday, June 28, 2006 - 10:09 PM
[Reply to this
SM

 
(ummm didja see how your dad was dressed...I don't think fashion was his forte..btw..my dad looks so much like that I think you are my brother...)
 
Posted by SM on Wednesday, June 28, 2006 - 10:03 PM
[Reply to this
kirk

 

Are you kidding me? He landed my mom, he must have been doing something right.

And if he heard you say that you would have one of his cowbot boots (not pictured) up your arse.


 
Posted by kirk on Wednesday, June 28, 2006 - 10:05 PM
[Reply to this
SM

 
LOL!! My mom weren't so bad in her day..and she's still pretty fer 75.

My dad is my idol..it's sucha compliment to your dad you have no idea..but I stand behing my critique of his clothing..that shirt makes me queasy..
Tho I have some choice "First day of school" shots that would make queasy look like a welcome response.

 
Posted by SM on Wednesday, June 28, 2006 - 10:13 PM
[Reply to this
The ILLUSTRIOUS Rose
Rose Mathews

 
As a child I was repeatedly forced to dress as an Angel for Halloween for a good 10 years straight...Needless to say, due to my strangled personality at such a young age, I was forced to become a tattood pierced adult. I often wonder if I would have been able to dress like a Punk Rocker when I was younger, If I would have turned out quite different?


Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

PS. Your Napolean Dynamite References were fantastic. I love the drawings! Ha ha...I was laughing my ass off. Oh wait, No! It's still there.

Oh, and I used to have a car just like that....but It was light blue...Ha ha.
 
Posted by The ILLUSTRIOUS Rose on Wednesday, June 28, 2006 - 10:47 PM
[Reply to this
kirk

 

Sweet, I met my first real girlfriend because of that car. She started working where I worked at the time and when we closed we walked out to the parking lot to our cars. I got into my Z and she into hers. We smiled and then raced each other home.

Turns out we lived 3 blocks from each other. But then I got pulled over and she didn't.

The cop said, "you kind of rolled through that stop sign back there."

He was being very generous. I completely blew through that sign sqealing the tires through the whole intersection.

I said, "Yeah, I was trying to impress that girl in the other Z."

He smiled, told me to find another way to impress her and let me go.

The next day at work she approached me all wide eyed asking about the cop. We started dating soon after.


 
Posted by kirk on Wednesday, June 28, 2006 - 10:56 PM
[Reply to this
Doctor Fantastic
Doctor Fantastic

 
That's a sweet ride! 
 
Posted by Doctor Fantastic on Wednesday, June 28, 2006 - 11:08 PM
[Reply to this
kirk

 

Yeah, I used to surpirse the shit out of Camaros and all those little 5.0 Mustangs that were driving around back then. They couldn't believe that a little Z just smoked there ass off the line.

It had dual Glass Packs (a.k.a. cherry bombs) behind that small block... sounded so sweet.


 
Posted by kirk on Wednesday, June 28, 2006 - 11:12 PM
[Reply to this
Patti

 
That bastard-son-of-a-bitch is a lovely middle name.
 
Posted by Patti on Wednesday, June 28, 2006 - 11:19 PM
[Reply to this
yuri todded
yuri todded

 
my middle name also begins with a W, and it stands for pretty much the same thing as your's did.
 
Posted by yuri todded on Thursday, June 29, 2006 - 12:33 AM
[Reply to this
Wineaux

 
i thot your stood for wus
 
Posted by Wineaux on Thursday, June 29, 2006 - 1:15 AM
[Reply to this
kirk

 
Thanks, she was a nice lady.
 
Posted by kirk on Wednesday, June 28, 2006 - 11:35 PM
[Reply to this
J

 
I'm more interested in what mom looks like NOW.
 
Posted by J on Wednesday, June 28, 2006 - 11:28 PM
[Reply to this
Sabrina
Sabrina Macready

 
His mom is totally a vixen :) She's effin cool too.
 
Posted by Sabrina on Monday, November 13, 2006 - 5:55 PM
[Reply to this
kirk

 
Hey now, my dad could still kick your ass. Don't make him flick you in the head.
 
Posted by kirk on Wednesday, June 28, 2006 - 11:36 PM
[Reply to this
Bataluer

 
Where other would hide the odd parts of thier childhood or cowar at previously retarded mistakes, you unabashedly wear the whole histoy of your srdid life as a badge of identity and honor.  Yuo have a new found respect from me. 

I didn't know you were old enough to be an 80's kid! 

 
Posted by Bataluer on Thursday, June 29, 2006 - 12:21 AM
[Reply to this
kirk

 

Thanks Aaron. And yes, I am old even though I look young in real life I win.

I hated a lot of those pics for a long time but I've decided to own up to them and appreciate them for the laughter they now cause... me.


 
Posted by kirk on Thursday, June 29, 2006 - 4:45 AM
[Reply to this
yuri todded
yuri todded

 
i know i've said this before somewhere, but napoleon's character was based on the dorky guy in repo man. the guy played by zander schloss from the circle jerks.
 
Posted by yuri todded on Thursday, June 29, 2006 - 12:35 AM
[Reply to this
kirk

 
Hmmm, I may have to see that movie again. I think I saw it when I was a little kid and barely remember it.
 
Posted by kirk on Thursday, June 29, 2006 - 4:46 AM
[Reply to this
Wineaux

 

I think it's cool you don't really know what the W. stands for, you could make up whatever you want really. maybe just wow.

this was awesome, i hate those survey things, i never repost, i only blogged the once because i was bored and it was minorly amusing, this was so much better.

and so's ya know, and i can geek-out a bit-wow, i think "saber-toothed horse with ram horns" -has a name, Bonnacon


 
Posted by Wineaux on Thursday, June 29, 2006 - 12:57 AM
[Reply to this
kirk

 

That thing isn't described as having sabre-teeth or wings. And while burning shit is cool, my Sabre-toothed ram-horned flying horse would never run away. It would totally PWN a Bannonanna-whatever...

(I would have been all defensive and shit like that when I was a kid...)


 
Posted by kirk on Thursday, June 29, 2006 - 4:49 AM
[Reply to this
kirk

 

Awe, Piles, you are a worthwhile-pile in my opinion. When I finally get a cartoon picked up by Cartoon Network you are so doing the theme-song...

 


 
Posted by kirk on Thursday, June 29, 2006 - 4:52 AM
[Reply to this
Wineaux

 
neither one of you are worthless!shut the fuck up! and, oh yeah, star wars.
 
Posted by Wineaux on Thursday, June 29, 2006 - 3:10 AM
[Reply to this
kirk

 
Thanks, Brandi... I hope you learned a little more about me, even if we haven't been able to chat in awhile.
 
Posted by kirk on Thursday, June 29, 2006 - 4:52 AM
[Reply to this
beneath tall then

 

I like that your flying saber-toothed horse with funky ram horns looks like he's shooting fire out of his ass.  He could be lethal from either end.

PS, Buddha Mama is really more Niles than Frasier.  You know, a little whiny.


 
Posted by beneath tall then on Thursday, June 29, 2006 - 2:12 AM
[Reply to this
kirk

 

That's what I figured, too. You seem like the more mature one. (like me and my brother)

And that is obviously a tail being stretched by the wind as he flies through the air.

(but fire from the butt would be cool, too)


 
Posted by kirk on Thursday, June 29, 2006 - 4:55 AM
[Reply to this
beneath tall then

 

Well it's obviously a tail.  I said I liked that it "looks like" fire.

(pssst.  there's the whining I was talking about)


 
Posted by beneath tall then on Thursday, June 29, 2006 - 1:39 PM
[Reply to this
kirk

 
TY TonI, ty...
 
Posted by kirk on Thursday, June 29, 2006 - 5:49 AM
[Reply to this
Sabrina
Sabrina Macready

 

Well theres good news and bad news.

 

Good: I'm still your friend and I still love you.

 

Bad: Your childhood/life story is way worse than mine LOL.


 
Posted by Sabrina on Thursday, June 29, 2006 - 4:11 PM
[Reply to this
The Girl (is no snow bird)

 

Two things: 

1) From your baby picture, it seems good you grew some hair in.  You had a rather large melon as a wee lad.

2) We shared the same mullet in junior high.  Only mine was a bit longer in the back. 

That's it.  Hair.  Though I might add, reading this blog first thing in the morning put me in a better frame of mind.  Thanks. 


 
Posted by The Girl (is no snow bird) on Thursday, July 06, 2006 - 12:17 PM
[Reply to this
Arpeggi

 
how many times a day do i need to voice the fact that things would have turned out better if i only had a flying sabertoothed horse with ram horns?
 
Posted by Arpeggi on Friday, July 07, 2006 - 7:04 AM
[Reply to this


 
Ever make it past the white belt? ;)
Steve~
 
Posted by on Sunday, July 09, 2006 - 1:04 AM
[Reply to this
That Rad Chick
Diana Wood

 
Man...we ARE alot alike....wow

~Diana

 
Posted by That Rad Chick on Tuesday, July 11, 2006 - 3:37 AM
[Reply to this
Nat

 

Ahhh, yes, I do remember the guy with the tight rolled pants.  I do have a question about the moon boots tho..summer in CO or summer in AZ?  It had to be CO, right?  Your feet would have melted off in AZ.  And I knew who you were long ago...  You were the guy that took me to the movie (as a third wheel) with your then wife, to cheer me up.  What a softy...sorry don't want to ruin your studly myspace front.  I didn't remember the Z until I saw it.  I remember your red truck the best.  Whew..that seems like forever ago.  Good job on the whole thing tho...you ooze talent in all that you do!


 
Posted by Nat on Wednesday, July 12, 2006 - 12:43 AM
[Reply to this
The Kevitron XR-138

 
That space clown guy or whatever that your grandma saved reminds me of a nightmare that I had before.

 
Posted by The Kevitron XR-138 on Monday, November 13, 2006 - 9:07 PM
[Reply to this
Wineaux

 
that's cool, i get the having a life thing outsidda myspace, well mostly...i havent been here much since they cured my insomnia...guess i no longer need to count sheep or have blog jams to enter slumber land.

you good?
 
Posted by Wineaux on Tuesday, November 14, 2006 - 7:25 AM
[Reply to this
The Girl (is no snow bird)

 
Still a stud muffin...
 
Posted by The Girl (is no snow bird) on Sunday, December 17, 2006 - 4:23 PM
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