Discrimination is an ugly fact of life. And even in our great nation, it's happened from time to time. Millions of Americans, I'm told, were not given equal opportunity to participate in slave labor simply because of the color of the their skin. But then one day that all changed when 15^th century German theologian Martin Luther (the "king" of Protestantism) came and freed the slaves from the Emancipation Proclamation.

But many would be surprised to learn that people like me face the horrors of discrimination every day – simply because we are assholes. We are passed over for promotions, denied bank loans and otherwise frowned upon by society not because of the color of our skin or some other valid reason, but because we treat our family, our neighbors, our co-workers in a way that has been deemed "unacceptable" or "illegal" by these self-appointed guardians who call themselves "the police" or "Child Protection Services."

Well, if deflating the tires of my over-paid supervisor or showing up drunk and punching some guy in the throat at my daughter's wedding makes me unpopular, then so be it. Just like Harriet Tubman who refused to sit in the back of the freedom bus, I do what I believe is right.  And yet amazingly, in spite of this moral high ground I take, I'm still the victim of all manner of anti-asshole bias.

And as if judging people by the way they treat others isn't unfair enough, I sometimes face discrimination on the basis of my background as a cannibalistic serial killer. Talk about hitting below the belt!

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