it is a rocky road.
not always roller coaster.
more of a rocking back and forth
between calm and upheaval.
but it is just as unpleasant as
the roller coaster.
it is not fun,
but it is getting better.
i think.
i have to RETHINK things
that have been locked up
and sealed inside my head.
now i have to take them out,
look at them,
and decide if i want them or not,
if they hurt me instead of help me.
decide if they are what lay
dormant and rot
and make my life a living hell.
and then decide what
i want to believe
and instill it in my mind
just as strong and fast
as the lies i want to throw away.
and hold on to them
and never let them go.
and just as my little rocking chair
i hold dear
sitting at the end of the lane
waiting
i wait in my rocking chair of life,
waiting
to come home.