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1. If I see another bulletin about MySpace trackers, I'm going to gauge my eyes out with a grapefruit spoon! THEY DON'T WORK; THEY'RE HACKING PROGRAMS! STOP POSTING THAT SHIT!2. Can we please come up with a more creative way of taking pictures of ourselves with the cell phone? If I see one more person with they're arms up toward me, I'm going to Fed-Ex them endless amounts of white powder in an envelope! Look at this asshole:
 3. Private profiles piss me the fuck off. Don't want any friends? GET THE FUCK OFF MYSPACE!
 4. Pending friend requests. If you don't want the person as your friend REFUSE them! Don't keep them waiting for days, you lazy pieces of dog shit! Click the button.5. Are you REALLY 14? Are you really? Go to myprepubescentspace.com and sign up! Then go play hide and go fuck yourself!

6. Tom says MySpace is shutting down. Tom says MySpace is shutting down. What are we gonna do? How about GET A LIFE?!
7. What's with all the dogshit server problems lately?

Tom! WTF?! How about sending out true announcements like this:
 8. The next person who posts "I'm kind of a big deal" in their profile, I'm going to send them A.I.D.S. via email! 9. More to come...
7:21 PM
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