hello.
It's been a while hasn't it?
How's it going?
Seasonal depression is fading.
I'm hopefully going to start a martial arts class tonight.  It will test my theory that fighting is what has been missing from my life.  That it is a key ingredient of happiness. 
I've recently started to promote my energy work buisness.  The first attempt failed.  I was offereing a day of discounted sessions to people at work.  No takers.  Part of me wants to give up, and just say people aren't interested in this shit.  But no, I  will try again. There was interest, just no availability for that particular day. 
When I was a teenager, I had an idea of what it would take for me to happy.  And it wasn't much.  Good patterns.  Good habits.  Good people. 
Doing what I like, with who I like, with regularity.  I think I'm just not doing enough.  Part of that plan is doing something physical.  Something fun.  Parts of that plan weren't really able to manifest when I first thought of it.  Living in staten island with my parents for example.  Being a shy awkward teenager too.  But I had my friends, and my training, and the fire in the belly.
Things have shifted.  It's definetly harder to have the sense of community with friends when they are scattered around the city, the country, and reality in the case of some (Dan is off fighting the power structure no doubt).  But I do have good friends that I am thankfull for.  It's much better to have love in my life.  That's something that was missing when the plan was first hatched. 
I think the main thing missing is the patterns.  I have a few that I like, but overall, I'm not using my time as well as possible. I'm often not using it at all.  A habit I must have picked up during winter depression. 
I also have this idea that you can start things on the right track when things are going well, so that they can carry you through the bad times.  Like winter.  If I have these pattern in place strong enough, then I can just coast on through the winter, and stave off the depression.
Yeah!
-D