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Current mood:  pirate
Recently ‘pirates’ have been hijacking ships off the cost of Somali. Most recently they hijacked an oil tanker with 20 American sailors on board1. These ‘pirates’ usually take oil tankers and ships of other importance. They are criminals that make a living by selling stole goods. Now of course when people call them pirates they are referring to their image of the Sea Dogs of the 1700s, but is that right? These people are not pirates, they are nothing more then dirty criminals that probably don’t bathe often.
Calling criminals pirates dates back to the height of Piracy which was about twenty-five hundred years ago2. By now if you are not a Pastafarian then you probably are thinking that by calling them pirates, they were referring to something else. The truth, however, is that Pirates were Sea Dogs that traveled the globe, but they were certainly not thieves and criminals. Sure they drank much and occasionally might of plundered, but they are His Chosen People. He, which of course I mean the FSM, told these people how to live and spread joy around the world. The Pirates even started Halloween, one of the most joyful time of the year. So why did these Chosen People get bad names? It was because of the other religions, mostly Christianity. All the other religions saw how true and right the fundamentals of Pirates were, and knew that they must destroy them to retain power. So for the first and only time in history all of the religions, except Pastafarians, joined forces to try and ride the world of them. These religions were led by the Christians, Muslims, Buddhist, and of course the Jews, who where already experienced in killing off religious leaders (for example, Jesus). These religions started a massive Pirate-hunt and to get supporters they used propaganda, like how they were supposed thieves. Since Pastafarian is the most peaceful religion on earth, since not even one death has occurred because of it, the Pirate-hunt was successful2. The Pirates wouldn’t fight back and often didn’t even know that they were being hunted, mainly because of all the grog they had the night before.
By now I hope you can see how discriminating it is to any Pastafarian to call their chosen people criminals. The fact that the news uses it means that the religions are still using propaganda to try and destroy this religion. I can only pray to the FSM that the news, history books, and governments will realize that they are being lied to and possible brainwashed by the various religions of the world. Maybe one day all the religions can live peacefully, side by side, and that the Pirate name is cleaned up. I also hope that to show that they are sorry, the news stations would send at least $100,000. This money of course will be used to help buy The official FSM church missionary pirate boat.
11:22 PM
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