It is hard to believe that a year has passed since I wrote my first blog, since I got that phone call that I need to come, immediately, since Dave and Jason got shot and our lives changed forever.

I remember a year ago feeling like my life was over, that I would never again feel normal or whole. Sure, life is still hard. Jase and I are still adjusting and learning, but here we are a year later very well on our way to feeling "normal" again.

Jase was still not feeling very well on Friday. He woke up with a bad headache and little bit of dysreflexia but, after resting for just a few minutes, got himself together and we got up, showered and got to work. I was really proud of Jason for putting so much effort into going to work and I think the effort paid off. We ended up having a really great day at work and even got to see Josh and Katie's brand new baby girl.

It is still hard for me hold babies, to hang out with kids, to see families. It reminds me of one big part of our life that has been put on hold while we inch our way through recovery, but at the same time, it is a delightful part of life that gives Jason and I so much hope.

Friday evening Jase and I kind of laid low. I think we were both starting to get a little nervy about the impending anniversary (the unhappy anniversary, as my dad called it). Jase even got a little bent out of shape with me later in the night. He was really sweet and sincerely apologetic the next morning. I am pretty sure that the anger he directed at me was rooted in emotions related the injury and the anniversary and not really about me...at least I hope so.

Saturday morning Jase and I stayed in bed for a long time and just rested. It was nice to be lazy and catch up on rest.

As we got up and started getting ready I definitely had very strong mixed emotions about the significance of the day. A year later I had hoped for so much more. I hoped Jason would have made a full recovery and life would have returned to preinjury life. I have anger that is not but I also am so proud of Jason and I myself. We have been dealt a terrible, terrible tragedy and we have stood up to the challenge. Jason has made amazing progress and he has worked hard and been diligent. I have learned so much about caring for him. We have rebuilt a life which, while it is not "preinjury life" is very satisfying and promises to just keep getting better.

I was also nervous that Jason wanted to see Dave's band playing downtown. A year ago we got ready and went to see a show downtown and our life changed forever. I wasn't quite sure I was up to the challenge. But, Jase was feeling really good and really wanted to go so I sucked it up and we got ready and went downtown.

Once we got there I was so glad we went. It was great to spend what could have been a really sad night in the midst of so many people we love and care about. It was comforting, only a year after such a huge life change, to be in one of our favorite places, having fun and feeling very "normal". Jase had a great time and before too long, the night was about music and hardly a second thought was given to the date. We even went to the Blue Goose Cafe after the show for a little late-night/early-morning breakfast which is something Jase and I have always loved to do at the end of a great night.

This morning Jase stayed in bed while I went to get Satchel from the vet. Poor Satchel is really not doing well. We may have to make the sad, sad decision to let him go tomorrow, but this morning he came home and cuddle with Jase and I in bed while we rested a little more.

After a bit Jason and I got up and about to get ready for Kelly, Elliot, Bill and Kate to come over. They came bearing lunch and cleaning supplies and helped me clean and do some chores around the house. It is so lovely to sit this evening in a clean house and enjoy being with my husband and baby animals.

So, here we are a year later. On the road to recovery. Even though some days are very hard there isn't a bone in my body that doesn't believe one day Jason will walk again, use his hands again, play music again. I believe that with every ounce of my being.

And, even though some days I can't even begin to think about the future because it scares the hell out of me, there are more days when Jason and I talk about the future and make plans for our future and look forward to seeing those plans come to fruition.

Our life has changed forever, not for worse. It is just different.

I am so proud of how far Jason and I have come but we could not have done what we have done and come as far as we have come if it weren't for all of you. Without your love and support and encouragement, this would have been a much, much harder road. Thank you all for being there for us and continuing to be there for us.

Take care of each other.

-Lyra

PS. This is my last official blog. I will post from time to time, especially when important things happen. If you like, keep checking back from time. Thank you again.