A lot of us out there try to be something we are not.
Its a shame. . .

Most people want to make them selfs better, or become a better person.
Others just rot into the seemless life they have made for themselves.
Wether its gangs, drugs, or some other pointless tren that they think they have to be in/apart of.

Its tuff for people to be who they are. even tho they dont/wont edmit it. And im srry you cant.
I believe it starts off were we are all at now, "Teens" and once they are  sucked up into that its over, say good bye to yourself and every thing you have ever believed in and wanted.
Dont blame no one, Just your self.

How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives.
Good Luck. . .