Rated PG.
Mostly true.



Well, there we were... four eelpouters in the middle of February, standing around watching the snow fall when suddenly the phone rang. It was our old buddy Jim, calling about the Eelpout Festival!

"Well you guys are comin' this year, aren't ya?"
"Why sure! Youbetcha, Jim! Love to! Wouldn't miss it!"
"Good. Bye."

Jim is a man of few words. No matter. We were thrilled the organizer of our namesake festival had reached out to include us for yet another year. But we're pretty easy that way. Now came the planning for our next excellent adventure.  Eelpout Festival '08!



Goodness! We were all a-twitter. Then Keeper, the clean-cut, responsible one of the crew had to go and ruin the moment by checking his daytimer and finding out he had a conflict. Huh? Boy Scouts? Awinter sleepout? Surely he could tell the boys he was just heading out to Casey's for some supplies, then come back a day or so later. Who'd miss him? No dice. You know, it's always nice having Keeper around. Reminds us of the value of our moms... and how much trouble we'd usually be in if left on our own.

Ok, so Keeper was out. But Fin, Gil and I (Bullhead) could still do the Festival as a day trip! Walker, MN is only 3.5 hours away... we could drive up Saturday morning, play some tunes, eat our traditional eelpout nuggets, kiss a few fish and, well, be on our way home by 6P. After all, we're, (ahem) older, mature men.

It was a plan.

Saturday, February 16th arrived in no time. Gil had the Pout-mobile (his mini-van) packed to the, er, gills and we were on our way at 7A.  Woo-hoo! Road trip!!

 

Two rest stops later, we were there. Beautiful Walker, MN on the shores of lovely Leech lake. And the lake was a-buzz with the usual Eelpout Festival activities! Helicopters were coming and going, ski planes (6 of them) were landing and taking off. Couches on two-by-fours, full of frenzied fishing folks were racing to and fro, being toted by snowmobile, 4-wheeler or truck. Elsewhere, snowmobilers were racing, ice football games were in play and, well, folks were just generally having a good time. Our second, great Eelpout Excellent Adventure had begun!

 

No sooner had we arrived than we ran into our boss, Jim. He told us to hang around the main tent as they were introducing a few new events this year... most notably, the fashion show. Now, having been here before, we all just naturally assumed that "fashion," in Minnesota terms, meant novel or interesting winter dress. Boy, we were woefully mistaken. But I'm getting ahead of myself. Jim said to check back later and he'd know more about what was going to happen when. And with that he sent us to the Entrance tent to play for the folks just arriving.

 

Once inside the Entrance tent, Jim's lovely Mrs. Lori met us and welcomed us back. We quickly took our place in the corner and started to play.

 

But a few minutes later, Mayor Brad, the honorable Walker dignitary his'self invited us to play a tune or two for his "listening audience." We'd forgotten. Brad also serves as the local DJ on KQ 102. Woo-hoo! It's Eelpout Airtime!

 

We dropped down to "D" to play our favorite version of Fly Around My Pretty Little Miss for all of Mr. and Mrs. Minnesota within 150 miles of downtown Walker. What a hoot.

 

The radio stage was a temporary glassed in porch that sat in the middle of the Eelpout Festival. From there we got to see some of the endearments of this wonderful band of fishing buds. Head carcasses are proudly and prominently displayed.

 







Carcass merchants were busy with traffic.

 


This lady was commenting she didn't like her husband as a blonde fox. Think he ended up with a skunk.

 

We even found a few new examples of head gear among the faithful.

 


Fin said he was hungry so we headed into the main tent for our traditional eelpout nuggets lunch.  Woo-hoo! Just look at them little golden delights (does go better with tartar sauce and beer).



This happy diner had driven all the way from Cambridge (Minnesota) just to share in the day's fun!

 

Suddenly we looked around and noticed a crowd had gathered in the main tent. We knew we were soon to be playing there. Perhaps they'd remembered us from last year? Could it be? Oh my. Had they remembered and returned just to see us?



The stage was being assembled. Even more people came. Soon, they seemed to be packing the place! We hadn't looked too much at the time, but we knew we'd be up soon. Probably right after the fashion show? GREAT!

 

Well, it seems we'd missed one small detail about the "fashion show." Earlier in the day, we'd seen some very attractive, younger women walking around in some spiffy red coats and snow pants. They were sporting clothes advertising some new brand of ice auger. Last year the Coor's Silver Bullet girls in their black leggings and short silver coats had stopped in, so we just dismissed this as some new marketing ploy. Well, it seems the marketers know a bit more about the fishing audience than a bunch of fishy, middle-aged old men (er, us).

 

Back to the tent.

 

Fin was having fun watching karaokie folks make silly of themselves.  But there was so much excitement growing that Gil got a bit nervous.

 

He dismissed himself to go do some shopping (it helps). A few minutes later he was back sporting his new hat. Had something French written on it.

 

The locals liked it. In fact, one of the main family Eelpouters of years gone by thought it worthy of a comment. This was the first guy that had ever built a two-story fish house during the festival!

 

It was almost like meeting Elvis. Gil was accepted as one of the fold. Ok, so back to us being nervous. While folks were waiting there was a terrific karaokie guy that was entertaining the crowd.

 

The front row of guys was really into it. They broke out the lighters during sad numbers and were busy constructing beer castles during the rest.
 




About that time, our world came crashing down.



This crowd wasn't here to hear the Eelpout Stringers, they'd simply come early to get good seats for the fashion show. And the fashion show wasn't just any display of northern MN sheik, it was a bikini fashion show! Fin was flabbergasted! Gil was a-gast! I grabbed my camera and jockeyed for position.

The first cat-walking contestant was one of the non-fishing beauties displaying the latest in auger ware.

 

The enthusiastic crowd cheered warmly!
 


But, unlike most northern Minnesotans, what happened next was beyond belief! The girls returned, but started taking OFF their clothing!

 

Now, this is MN in the winter. You don't do such foolishness, dontchaknow. Didn't seem to matter to them.

 

At first it looked like she was simply exchanging fishing secrets. 



But then it looked like this young lady didn't trust the front row of guys. I see she's checking to make sure she still has her fishing lure in her navel.

 




As you can see from some of these pics, the girls apparently just kept getting warmer and warmer until, horrors! There was little left to cover!



I think this young lady was named Ms. Pout, based on her stance. Not sure, though. Now I can understand how a tent full of wild and crazy fishing people can generate a little heat, and how enough alcohol does fool one into thinking they're plenty warm, but how could these girls walk around like this!? Gil wanted to call Keeper and ask some advice. I was wondering if Keeper wanted dups. But I digress from my story.

 

As quickly as it all happened, it was over. The fashion show ended. Everyone was checking their cameras and cell phones to make sure they got what they, er, whatever it was they were shooting. One young man was checking his heart. Moments later everyone checked their coolers and decided to make another beer run. Apparently, it was time for us to play. Fin was game. Gill was in the port-a-pot. I thought it a good time to get some air. We told Kent the karaokie guy we were heading out on the ice for a while to clear our heads and he happily went back to the remaining crowd to promote "Eelpout Idol" (the finals would be in an hour... winner would have to be able to stand). Gil, Fin and I pointed the Pout-mobile out on the ice and went to Winter Wonderland.

 

Even though we saw some new, interesting sites, we were still stunned from the impact of the fashion show. After avoiding a few certain death run-ins with various vehicles, we headed back to the Entrance tent to play our final set, but not before Mayor Brad had us play for the radio one more time. This time we got to meet his wife who was one of the largest fund raisers for this years Polar Plunge! Mrs. Mayor raised over $1,400 for her jump into Leech lake during the middle of February. We were awed. We did find a tune that worked well with the tempo set by her chattering teeth.

Ok, time to go. We looked back in to see the winning pout (so far) was almost 13.


 
That's a lotta pout! Kinda made us all hungry. We decided to finish off our second Excellent Adventure at Benson's having pizza, just like last year.



But this time, rather than play for the crowd, we were too pooped. So we sat around and looked at the pictures of our day. Funny thing with digital cameras. Before you know it, you've taken, oh, 200 pictures or so.  But most were only of, er one event. We were all trying to decide what pictures to send Keeper at his family email address. We wanted all of them to know what he missed.

Ten minutes later, we decided that was a bad idea. We'd just tell Keeper in private. After all we DID want him to be able to join us next year. In fact, maybe this whole blog thing is a bad idea.  Maybe what happens at the Eelpout Festival STAYS at the Eelpout Festival.

Nah.  That wouldn't be any fun.  And whose gonna believe this fish tale, anyway?

 

Until our next Excellent Eelpout Adventure...

Respectfully submitted.

Bullhead

PS - Ok, so we didn't carry on ALL the traditions this year.  Many of you have requested the traditional first-catch, fish-kiss.  Sorry, we, uh, forgot.  How about we just reach back into the archives to find something memorable? Since Keeper wasn't with us in person this trip, we thought it only considerate that we use his super smack from last year.  So, here it 'tis.