What is it with hairs in your mouth?  How do they just appear in there, when you've been nowhere near a [insert gag here].

But when they're in, they're bloody difficult to get out.  And what's the best way to get them out?  Single hairs become invisible when on your tongue - as every mirror in the house will testify.  Go can go for the ungracious "tossing off your tongue" technique, which will gather you looks from anyone else within 50 yards.  Alternatively, you can try the kamikaze "i'll pissing well have to swallow it" technique [insert gag here].  None of them effective.

And after all this to-ing and fro-ing, you realise that it came out of your mouth a couple of minutes ago and your brain is playing tricks on you.  That's right, your brain is playing tricks on you!

Really, who is fucking in charge round here?