He's been on the cover of instinct magazine, is openly gay, and has a very deep voice for infomercials, Movie Previews and a host of other oratory media. You can see his website at: BenPatrickJohnson.comhttp://www.msplinks.com/MDFodHRwOi8vd3d3LmJlbnBhdHJpY2tqb2huc29uLmNvbS8=">BenPatrickJohnson.com>.
Anyway after reading his little bulletin (and drank some wine) and getting real pissed at not finding the subpenau that ordered me and my grandmother to come to court to testify against my younger sister's psychotic behaviour ( Long story) I just blew up at this guy…The following online conversation via our wonderful website here was totally unexpected…..It starts with his bulletin posted here.

Your a fuckin sell out, I hate you and all so called "Winners" of their own fears.
Ace type people like you disgust me when you use it for monetary advantage.
Abe
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: BEN PATRICK JOHNSON
Date: Apr 30, 2007 8:31 PM

Abe,

The show you see costs me about $1000 a day to put on. I get no money back from it. Instead of advertising, I run public service announcements for charities I believe in -- supporting human rights and education.

Please explain the disgusting monetary advantage I'm getting ... ?
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Abe
Date: Apr 30, 2007 8:46 PM

I am just mad that you would even put yourself out there as someone who has a fear of speaking, sweatin' etc...You drama queen--You love the attention the adoration of your body and your eyes--You can tell I adore you to a degree--I just can't stand your phoney attitude--Making money or not.
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: BEN PATRICK JOHNSON
Date: Apr 30, 2007 9:05 PM

I know that a variety of people look up to me. That's part of the reason why I am as willing as I am to put my own insecurities, shortcoming, etc. out there -- so that we can begin to see that we're all the same inside, regardless of one person having a gym body while another is disabled, or if we are of different races or ages ... we all have similar fears, joys, disappointments, challenges.

I struggle every day with feeling "good enough". I think that's a lot of what first motivated me to go to the gym, etc.

Sometimes I encounter people who are very negative toward me, as you are -- people being downright nasty and mean. And I just want to cry. It's like -- "I already felt bad about myself, so I worked extra hard to make myself 'likeable', and now you sneer at me for trying?"

I remember being at the gym one day, maybe ten years ago. I was having a really shitty day. I was in between sets and a guy was trying to make conversation. He asked how it was going and I really just didn't feel like lying. "I've had better days," I told him. His reply? "I didn't think guys who look like you HAD bad days."

I can't remember when I've felt as lonely.

Your email left me feeling very lonely as well. Does that make me a "drama queen", as you put it? Maybe. Or at least in your book, I guess it does.

I'm just a normal, sensitive person trying to use the few gifts I've got to make the world a better place. I write books, I'm very active in charities, etc. ....

and then I get an email like yours and I just think ... why try?
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Abe
Date: Apr 30, 2007 9:13 PM

Well I thank you for replying, you could have just shrugged off my comment as from some deranged asshole.
I guess I was just feelin upset about a few things and I saw your blog ad and just went off the deep end....It seems like my whole life has just been a constant struggle for normality and the American Dream, and now that I finally have it I feel empty.
You remind me a lot of John Cena, who I also don't like but yet his body is amazing. He just reminds me of that macho all American Guy who tries to be tough but inside they are just babies who hardly know anything outside of their little suburbia. John Cena changed his body, his accent (much like yours) and his whole persona, I guess it works for him...But one day I just wanna sock him one right in the jaw and have him look at me with that sexy face and ask like you are now---Why Me??
Abe
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Ben Patrick Johnson
Date: Apr 30, 2007 9:13 PM
So, ultimately, is it about the John Cenas and the Ben Patrick Johnsons? Or is it about you?

I'm trying to get a handle on what exactly about my admitting my fears and insecurities set you off so much. I really do want to understand it.

B.

SSSSOOOO The next day he sends another message via myspace that says, (This is after I've taken him off my friends list)
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: BEN PATRICK JOHNSON
Date: May 1, 2007 8:54 PM

Abe,

I am going to include excerpts from our MySpace conversation last night in my show tomorrow. I'm not going to use your name or picture, as I don't feel that's really appropriate. But the things we talked about stayed with me all night -- honestly, I didn't sleep well -- and I realized I needed to sort through it all. I'll start that on the show.

You made me cry, dude.

Ben
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Abe
Date: May 2, 2007 4:45 PM

I am sorry Ben, I hope the show goes well, we all can't be winners like you
Abe
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Ben Patrick Johnson
Date: May 2, 2007 5:28 PM

Abe----

Dude, yes you CAN. And that's the whole point. There's no qualitative difference between us other than, what? The shape of our eyes?? Come on, man. Clearly you're smart and a feeling person. Why sell yourself short?!?!?

The way I got where I am is not by having some gilded sleigh ride here. My parents are dirt poor. I grew up fat and quite awkward. I know you don't need a sob story from me, and it will just turn you off so I won't go there. But man, the point is I got here by REFUSING to say 'okay' when the world told me no.

Okay, sob story anyway -- but just an example -- I was hired for a pretty big TV job when I was 24. Two weeks later they found out I was gay and basically smeared me and did their best to get me to quit by making life unbearable -- spreading rumors about me, setting me up to fail in work assignments, placing me at a far corner of the office next to the garbage area (!!). But I had a one-year contract and even after they told me not to come in anymore, I refused NOT to. I showed up every day for a year and sat at my smelly desk. I REFUSED to be demoted or marginalized, despite what amounted, basically, to daily humiliation. I made myself the most adorable nuisance I could. And for a year, I swallowed every ounce of pride and learned more about television than I would have in four years of college. I knew that it would be career suicide to sue Warner Bros., so I never really even considered that route. Mentally and emotionally it was almost unbearable -- there were moments where I seriously thought I couldn't go on another day. But I made it through, and I am stronger man for it.

LIFE IS FUCKING HARD no matter who you are. And the more you tell yourself that it's easy for me, or for John Cena, the more excuse you give yourself NOT to keep trying even when you're getting kicked in the teeth, as I'm sure you have been. Because we ALL have been; well, at least everyone I know.

Another story -- LAST WEEK, working on my video blog (which as you know, was not handed to me, and I make no money on -- basically it's me trying to find my voice in the world and give back in the process), my editor had a hissy fit and walked out with zero notice. Ten minutes later I found out that my writer had a staph infection and would be out for a week. That left me to do the full time jobs, basically, of THREE people, plus my own voice-overs and regular other stuff I do to pay the rent. So I worked 6am-2am every day last week. It was grueling. I got sick. But I REFUSE to allow circumstances to stand in my way, even when I feel like quitting and curling up into a ball and crying.

I have three novels published. Would it interest you to know that it took a DECADE and me writing four additional novels that sit on my hard drive before I finally got a book deal? And how would it make you feel to know that I got over 2,500 rejection letters before I finally made the sale? I have saved them. It's literally a file drawer full. You may not want to hear that "people like me" go through these things. But it's the truth, Abe.

LIFE IS TOUGH FOR ALL OF US.

The key is to find strength -- brute force -- deep within yourself to be stubborn and say NO! NO! NO! to the people who would tear you down, and the forces of discrimination and hatred and just plain stupidity in the world.

And maybe next time when someone like me comes along with a big heart and sincere intentions, you won't make a 'fuck you' your opening salvo.

B.
DON'T GIVE UP, ABE!
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Abe
Date: May 2, 2007 8:47 PM