For some of you that know me, you probably know where I'm at, and the booking agent I'm speaking of.  I was told to go right ahead and use this agents name, by the agent, but I will keep the name to myself.  I have my reasons, so don't ask.

Now, what I'm about to write is true, seriously and sadly true.  It is also the reason I do not book comics.  This agent sent out a "drop", if you are a comic you should know what this is.  For those who do not, it's a massive email to comics letting them know that there is a gig available.  Everyone on the same page here? Good.

For the headliners the subjuct was:  "RE:  NYE/Janeville, WI

For the Openers:  RE: Opener needed on NYE/Janeville, WI

Here comes the sad part---here are some of the emails this agent received, from presumably semi-intelligent human beings.

1. What's the dates?

     Okay, numnut, this is the holiday season, what the fuck do you think NYE means!!!! New York Expressway!!  If you do not know that this means New Year's Eve and you don't know the dates of New Year's Eve, stop and go find another job.  Get away from me. You are too stupid.

2. I don't normally accept that money, but I will.

Bullshit, you will accept anything, so stop trying to be more than what you are.  It's the samething when I work with a feature that tells me "I normally headline". Really, stop reading your setlist, "Mr. I'm normally a headliner". Shut up, asshole, just take the date if you want it, and stop the whinning.

3. Why don't they just take one headliner?

Because they want two that's why, it's their club.  Now move on, and no more questions from you.

4. I want it! Bad! When is it?

Please refer to question one, retarded number two. I don't have the time to explain it again.

I have come to realize that we are surrounded by idiots, big fucking, stupid idiots.  Look, think before you answer an email to a booking agent.  If you do not know the dates of New Year's Eve, well dude, I just don't know what to say.  And this is probably coming from people that think that George Bush and Sarah Palin are idiots.  They will get on a stage; talk about stupiud rednecks? Really bubba, okay you can't do this anymore, nope, stop now and learn to juggle.

Seriously, there is not much more I can say about this, so I'm done. 

One more thing, I was in this agent's office and I actually read these emails, so don't make me put them on another blog.  Because I will, oh yeah, trust me I will.