Friday the 13 has always been a lucky day for me, oddly enough it's Thursday the 12th that is filled with grief. This Friday I went to the Birch aquarium with him and his nephew and it was there that I realized how deeply in love I am with him. We were in the outdoor learning exhibit and I saw him squatting down next to his nephew (I'm not exacting sure what they were doing) and all I remember thinking was; "He is a really good man, I better hold on to him." It's taken me almost 4 years to realize just how good he is for me, the only problem is that it might only be a one-way street.
I love him and I am so afraid to lose him. I could be in a room full of people and I see all these girls there and I think to myself; "He could have anyone here because he's the type of guy every girl is looking for." I'm paranoid now =).
For Valentine's he gave me a letter that took me down memory lane and at the end it said that we started to live life when we began to hang out. It's true, I have never been happier or have tired more things then during time that I've been with him. He changes me for the better and I don't know where I would be without him.
Of course I  would like to tell him all this, but I can't. He likes someone else now and the way I see it: " If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, it's yours forever. If it doesn't, then it was never meant to be." Let's say that he decides to ask her out and everything goes perfect, they really connect, they fall in love get married and live happily ever after. Then I'll be happy because he's happy. Now, let's say that he asks her out, they try it out and for whatever reason it gets too hard and it doesn't work, then hopefully he realizes how good we are together. This is best case scenario with two outcomes, now lets look at worst case scenario. I come into the picture by confusing him and either he or she decided that it's not going to work because there in a triangle, then he never gets to see what else is out there and he gets restless or resents me for interfering. I guess what I'm trying to say  is that he needs to do this for himself, to see what is out there and to grow as a person(and not take me for granted). I'm afraid that I'll lose him, but it's what's best for him so I have to set him free in hopes that he comes back.(It's sad really.) However, the situation isn't as simple as I explain so all there is left to do is wait and see how things go.
So, that's how I got myself into trouble, I fell deeply and madly in love with my best-friend at the wrong time in life.