Culture lovers awake! An Audience With Mr Methane heralds the return of highbrow entertainment to the Edinburgh Festival.

Standing Order expected to be as full as a fat bird's shoe, says licensee Mr J.D.Weatherspoon…

Yes, Britain's leading purveyor of the economically priced all-day breakfast and perfectly triangular fish fillets prepares to welcome the world's only full-time professional performing flatulist in an Audience With Mr Methane from August 9th to 23rd at the Standing Order, George Street, Edinburgh.

"Interest in the show has been unprecedented," says a made-up quote from Mr J.D.Weatherspoon himself, "What could be more agreeable than to sit down with a bottle of faux German beer and enjoy Strauss's beautiful Blue Danube waltz, augmented by Macclesfield's leading virtuoso on the botty bugle."

Mr Methane will perform several of his international best-selling hits during the show, while recounting some of his amazing adventures in show business to witty and urbane broadcaster/ journalist Martin Kelner.

"I'm really looking forward to it," said Kelner when we visited him at the run-down caravan park just outside Grimsby, where he lives with his wife and four children, "I feel privileged to interpret for Edinburgh Festival's culture lovers Mr Methane's amazing story; the laughs, the tears, the agony, the ecstasy, the trouser trumpets, of a life in this heart-warming business we call show."

What is more, it's free!

Kelner asks only for a small contribution on the night for children in Africa deeply traumatised by being visited by Lenny Henry every bloody year for a Comic Relief documentary.

An Audience With Mr Methane. Standing Order, George Street, Edinburgh, August 9th – 23rd, 7.45pm 2008.

http://www. mrmethane. com

http://www. martinkelner. com