thanks to Josey and Chris from Illinois and Chris from Cincinatti for sending me some of these: and here they are (warning: these will get extreme):

Handsome Dick Manitoba really has no father, he conceived himself.

Handsome Dick Manitoba invented AIDS to save Rock N Roll of shitty arena rockers.

Handsome Dick Manitoba makes Chuck Norris cry.

While Chuck Norris has a deadly roundhouse kick, Handsome Dick Manitoba is Faster and Louder.

If rock n roll had a god, he would answer to Handsome Dick Manitoba.

Every city without a White Castle will disappear of the face of the Earth on New Years Eve 2010, cause Handsome Dick says so.

Handsome Dick Manitoba gave birth to Rock N Roll before he was born.

Handsome Dick Manitoba decided he wanted to be the king of rock n roll, 10 minutes later Elvis Presley died.

Handsome Dick Manitoba lost his virginity 3 years before he was born

Handsome Dick Manitoba once hit a guy so hard he knocked him two weeks into the future. Unluckily for the guy, Handsome Dick Manitoba was ready and waiting for him, and knocked him two weeks back in time, right back where the guy started off at. Not only is Handsome Dick Manitoba powerful beyond all understanding, he's also very precise.

Handsome Dick Manitoba would've been a professional wrestler, except that the promoters got tired of their top guys instinctively (and fearfully) crying like little girls whenever they sensed Handsome Dick Manitoba entering the arena.

Handsome Dick Manitoba was banned from all professional sports in 1975 for testing positive for an illegal substance in the sports world: Handsome Dick Manitoba.

In 1975 all major sports commissioners died mysteriously.

if you have any you think are good message them to me and leave your name and where your fromif you want credit for them, dont post them on here, because Handsome Dick Manitoba will kill you.