We are fortunate to have a bi-monthly gig at a lil joint in Charlottesville called the Atomic Burrito. it's one of those bars that's five pounds of fun crammed into a 12" tortilla, if you know what i mean.
The kinda joint you can go to 5 nights a week and hear at least 4 different bands, and probably see all the same people. Doing the same things. Reliable, that's how i characterize the Burrito bar. It's been good to us, supporting our wholesomest habit (good old country music) and our notsowholesomest habits (whiskey).

Because of our longstanding experience in the realm of Atomic, I feel comfortable admitting that there may be a high volume of very drunk, very endearing patrons. hell, i'm one of them. The lines between fun and danger get blurry as the night wears on, as does the line between fervent sweet enthusiasm and utter obnoxious flimflammery.

So, to protect my fellow revellers from flim-flamming themselves in the public eye, I feel compelled to outline a few pointers on the subject of appropriate behaviour at this establishment every 2nd and 4th Wednesday..... If I May:

DO:
BRING A DATE. any date, your girlfriend, your crush, your ex's coworker's goodlooking brother, your buddy, your yoga teacher. they'll come in handy later on.

GET WASTED. go ahead live a little. but hide your keys from yourself and be sure to pen the number of a local taxi on a part of your body that beer is unlikely to spill on

MAKE OUT IN THE ALLEY. it's just to the right of the entrance. people should make out in public more often. a nameless friend of ours has a wonderful approach. it goes something like this: "hey, wanna make out?" or you could try the divorcee approach: "Kiss me before this cloud of melancholy washes away any memory of sweet suckling!"

DRESS UP. wear your boots and the tightest shirt you have. applies to all points in the gender spectrum. look good so you can look slightly less horrible when you're obviously trashed.

HOLLA. at the band and tell us we look fabulous.

DANCE in a way that frees your soul and doesn't disturb Baby Fresh Pony's mic stand or Sleepy Bunny's bass.

TIP everyone you see, including the best dancer and the bartender

..................................................................................................

YOU KNEW THIS WAS COMING.... DON'T:

ASK FOR CHARLIE BELL'S PHONE NUMBER. sorry ladies, he's taken.

DRIVE. after setting foot in this establishment, i don't care how long you've been in AA.

TOUCH THE MERCHANDISE. divorcees have killed for lesser offenses.

TOUCH THE DIVORCEES unless we've asked you to make out.

SING ALONG OUT OF KEY. i mean it.

WALK OUT ON YOUR TAB. manners are key, and these barkeeps know where you live.
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well that sums it up. more to follow as i feel so inclined.
peace love and twang,
JWYD