In last weeks blog post I professed my love for Jesus and spoke out against the evil that is pornography.  Since then I have been flooded with emails from Christians across the country doubting my sincerity, comparing me to the attention whores posting "Evolution blogs", and promising to "pray for my soul."




Well, first of all, I hope you fucktards don't plan on "praying" to Jesus because he is officially unavailable.

You see, if you had actually read last weeks post you would know that I accepted Jesus as my "personal Lord and Savior", and I don't intend to share him with you.

Secondly, let me tell all you copy cat wannabe fuck sticks that I am sick of everyone trying to be like me.

EXAMPLE:
I get a new lawnmower - my neighbor gets a new lawnmower.

I get a Myspace account- everyone else wants one too.

I accept Jesus Christ into my into my heart as my personal Lord and Savior and suddenly my inbox is jammed full of emails from asshats who now think Jesus is their "personal Lord and Savior" as well.

Read it bitches: PERSONAL Lord and Savior.

I saw him first; get your own fucking God, dick slurpers!!!






Now, as to comparing me to the "Evolution Bloggers", I will have you know that as a God fearing Christian I do not subscribe to such superstitious and irrational notions such as "Science", and I don't appreciate the comparison.

These "Science people" are merely acting out because they fear the truth, as they desperately cling to their self serving, mythical world of "scientific beliefs" in spite of the staggering amount of biblical facts to the contrary.

These so called "scientists" are the very same people still pushing their radical agenda of "the world is round", as they refuse to admit that science is an outdated and archaic means of understanding the magic that is Jesus.

Jesus cannot be equated.

Jesus cannot be measured in a beaker, studied under a microscope, or divided by zero.

While they may have fossil evidence, carbon radiometric dating, and a Doctorate from Harvard, does any of that really compare to the unmistakable "truth" I feel in my heart?

Of course when you confront them with some undeniable biblical facts they always fall back on:






It's useless trying to talk any sense into a science fundamentalist because they will only see what they want to see in the hope of validating a baseless and illogical belief system.

EXAMPLE:

We all know that when it rains, that is Gods tears sent from heaven to cleanse us of our sins.

Now, ask any "Scientist" about rain and they will rattle on and on about "condensation" being "evaporated" and being trapped in the atmosphere due to the "mass difference" of oxygen and air, blah blah blah blah.

WAY TO DRINK THE KOOL-AID SCIENCE SHEEP !!!!






As far as this whole "evolution" mumbo jumbo is concerned, I have studied it at great length.

It sounds good at first, until you reach the so called "Archean Period", about 4 billion years ago, when organic molecules supposedly joined with aqueous amino acids and nitrogenous bases forming hydrocarbon systaline molecules; prompting a basis for protein synthesis.

Oh suuuure Scientists!!  Are we really expected to believe that all this took place without the help of an omnipotent supernatural being that hates homosexuals?







Then they claim that evidence of evolution can be seen because chimpanzees and humans share 98.7% of the same DNA.

Oh yeah, well you want to know what the 1.3% difference is?

JESUS.

That's right, 1.3% of human DNA is made of concentrated Jesus.

How do I know this? I just know.

So the real "scientific fact" is that if you could teach a chimpanzee how to read the bible, and accept Jesus into his heart, then he would automatically become a human, and probably get a job as a school bus driver.

The absolute worst offenders have to be these fucking "dinosaur people" with their bogus fossils strewn about their dens of sin known as "museums."

Can't you idiots see that if dinosaurs really did exist then that would contradict the the FACTUAL creation of the universe told in Genesis, making the bible wrong.

And we all know that the bible can never be wrong from what we have read....

........in the bible.






So let this be a lesson to anyone who attempts to mock me with so called "scientific theories" : YOU WILL FIND ONLY TRUTH HERE FUCKERS.

Long Live the Super Magical Power of Jesus.

Long Live The Great State of MANtana.



From the MANtana White House (of God),

El Presidente'-OUT