I can't keep a single thought from going astray an changing everything. I've deleted this same post multiple times trying to find a reason to write.
Who has a reason to write anymore? They're all so engulfed in the "real" world, too busy to see how fake they make themselves, just to be part of the "in" crowd.
I've become a shut in myself. I hardly leave home, mostly because, I have nowhere, nor anyone to really go to, or with. I never had much, I always tried keeping relations going. But at some point in time I'm forgotten, and I have to try and find new people. This leads me into a spiral of being around people I either don't really like, or people who will change me, just like many others have.
No matter how much I get changed though I always end up in the same world. That corner that became my best friend, that listened to the woes of my teenage angst. I felt nothing but a heavy brick in my lungs when I tried to listen for a response. I knew none would come, but maybe one of the many surrounding my corner would know the answer to my past pains. No one had even noticed I had slipped away. I sighed many times, maybe that would draw attention, yet again nothing...
I one day lost my sense of humanity or rather, my sanity. I started to chuckle silently to myself in my corner, not for the sake of a joke, no just from within. I knew then that my sanity was no more. I was no longer from the world of humans, I was now a true outsider, unliked by the hundreds, because of differences.
I wondered how many were like me, no longer caring if life gave them a chance for real happiness, just creating as little happiness as needed to suffice until the next meal was needed.
No one ever cared to keep contact with me, no one who said they actually cared.
I lost my sense of life. I knew murder, death, and suicide.
This world once offered me love, but took it away, many times. Was it me that was not ready for such a responsibility or was it the world who was being a fucking nutcase wanting to mess more with my sanity. Either way, I lost most of my sanity thanks to that "love." I wonder how many lost their sanity the same way.
It's not like I make a difference to the world, I just make him more skepticle of what is in store for the rest of the human race.
I'm not normal. I love being sensitive. I hate those moronic men that only care about themselves and how they'll get into the tight pants of that slut who only needs a hello and she's ready to fuck until she passes out. Disgusting human beings.
I made you a cake, I added a special ingredient, can you guess what it is? No? My blood. Please, eat it before I die, I don't want to die without seeing you prove that you once loved me. Hurry, I feel myself fading.