Had a dirty bomb been detonated at Pacific's Valley Plaza 16 movie theatre on Saturday night, a la one of Trent Reznor's backstories on Year Zero, the entire Blacklist would have been taken out while trying to enjoy Knocked Up.

"Trying to enjoy" is probably too strong a choice of words. We all seemed to have a good time. The problem I'm talking about doesn't lie with the film but with the litany of comments that erupted during key points in the movie.

In case you didn't know, the character of Allison gets pregnant (or, dare I say it?) KNOCKED UP in the first act. I knew this. You probably knew this. I think my coffee mug knew this.

Someone who didn't know this sat a few rows behind us. When Allison displayed the symptoms of morning sickness, the following jewel encrusted statement flew through the air.

"I bet he fucking gave her AIDS."

There might have been an ". . . and shit" after that sentence, I'm not sure. As funny (tragic?) as that statement may have been, it stuck in my head over the next few scenes, and indeed, had stayed with me for the last 24 hours.

Did this woman (it was a woman who said this; I'm not sure if that makes the statement worse or not) walk into the theatre not knowing what the plot of the movie was? I'm sure that's feasible. A large number of patrons theatre hop to save their hard-stolen dollars, so she might have thought she was in the forthcoming sequel to Philadelphia that all the kids are waiting for.

If she did know what the movie was about, did our educational system, and ultimately, her parents as well, fail to teach her about pregnancy and/or AIDS? I find that hard to believe. If that's the sad reality of the situation, does this woman weep for anyone who becomes pregnant? Did she enjoy Children of Men because, in her mind, "At least there's no more AIDS (. . .and shit?)."

Perhaps she's merely disgusted with Hollywood as of late, with their tendency to make their summer fare lighthearted, and she was so overjoyed at the first sign of sickness that she yelped in glee "I bet he fucking gave her AIDS" because, at last, she could see a film that started out as a comedy only to hit the breaks and instead unleash one of the most horrific plot twists since John McClane dying at the end of the second act of Live Free Or Die Hard.

It makes me sad to know that I'll never know what she was thinking. To alleviate my depression, I watched a few movies and imagined her sitting next to me, waxing philosophically about cinema.

"Why can't they just ask someone where the fucking ark is?"
"Why is Ryan so secretive and why does he need to be saved?"
" What harbor are we witnessing the bombing of in this 2001 Michael Bay film starring Josh Hartnett and Ben Affleck?"

I wish I could see every movie with her.