On September 2nd (Saturday), there's another Downtown gig. Here's who're all playing:

As The Sun
Absence of Presence
Ashes of Pale
Deviate
Notta Loan

...ha...haha...HAHAHAHAHAHA. *cough* So anyway. Like the last gig, I'm going to listen to the songs on their MySpace and comment on them here for your reading pleasure, because I'm so wonderful like that. So, without further ado...

As The Sun

Omg! Some genuine Killswitch Engage sound-a-likes! Spiffing! I love me some good ol' screaming! =D So, first track I listened to was "The Sweet Serenity..." (the dots are so scene right now =3). Started with the usual "SCREAM SCREAM SCREAM" of metalcore. I was starting to dig it. The screaming sounded genuine, the instruments were good, and I was happy. But wait! Suddenly, these harmonies suddenly come out of nowhere, and oh God they're awful. Someone needs to be told they can't sing. Or at least, they can't sing in harmony with others. What was worse was that it sounded vaguely in tune, but at the same time set your teeth on edge, like a detuned radio. The song was almost five minutes, and the singing happened more and more. STOP NOW PLZ.

I decided to listen to one more song, and put on Forever My Goddess or something (I don't care enough about this band to remember the song names). Again, metalcore by numbers. SCREAM SCREAM SCREAM. But lo and behold, come the chorus, the screamer and one of the singers do one of those little exchanges where the screamer screams something and the singer sings back, making it sound like a really weird argument. "Could it be?" I think. "No harmonies?" BUT LO, the harmonies appeared again, as discordant as ever. In fact, it's worse. Oh God, I'm scared of seeing this band live now. D=

Absence of Presence

This band are clearly amazing. No, I haven't listened to them, and I won't be able to until the gig because they have no songs on their MySpace. However, they will still singlehandedly be better than everyone else, because I know the guitarist. So nyeh.

Ashes of Pale

God, I still marvel at how much they pwned at the last gig. I'm listening to their stuff again because I'm wanting to try and see if I can judge them again. Alas, my opinion remains unchanged. Without the live atmosphere, they crash and burn. The first song, "The Rise Of The Ashes", seems to suffer from Balletbox Drummer Syndrome. The drums at certain points are all over the fucking place. The second one has the guy from Notta Loan. Notta Loan, as you will find out later in this little piece of scripture, are not my favourite band in the world right now. Boo, says I.

Deviate

Bunch of hippies! They have no songs on their MySpace as well. Damn their hides.

Notta Loan

Wow. I learned some things about this band between the last concert and now. The first thing being that they're actually despised by a vast majority of the scenesters and teensters of Inverness. From what I hear, it's due to two points. One, their music blows. In repeated relistens, I can see where they come from. In fact, I am going to quote the lyrics to their song. I emphatically stress that these lyrics were written by Notta Loan and not me. I'm able to take Higher English for a reason. That reason is my ability to write.

Be warned: The following is the rhyming structure of musical decay:

A Tale of Broken Glass

Pre Verse

Ripped The Pictures Off The Wall
It Began To Hurt
Packed My Bags,Walked Out The Door
But I Left The Shirt
Right Next To The Picture Frame Of Us On That Day
I've Enjoyed These Seven Years But Im Sorry I Have To Say I....
Verse

Washed My Hands Of Her That Night
Her Smell Stayed Pure In My Heart
When I Found Out What She Did
I Didint Want Her In My Sight Anymore

Verse 2

Threw The Ring In Her Face
She Cryed Many Tears
She Tryed To Throw It Back
But I Did Not Catch
No More To See She Slept With Me
Now Im Gone
I Cant Belive She Wore That Thong

Chorus

She Left Me With My Salty Wounds
Why Cant She See
How Much Its Hurting Me
She Left Me With My Salty Wounds
How Much Its Hurting Me
How Much Its Hurting Me

Interlude

She Left Me With My Salty Wounds
She Left Me With My Salty Wounds
She Left Me She...


...AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA. You know what? I take everything I've said about Notta Loan back. They're clearly a clever parody band, designed to have a laugh at the expense of the scenesters of Inverness. Oh, you clever geniuses! However, in the slight possibility that these are supposed to be serious, I will have to kill everyone. And by everyone, I mean Notta Loan. Look, I can write better. This is me writing at 11:17PM. I'm tired, I'm irritable and I have a sore foot. Yet I am able to write eloquently enough to completely rip a band apart.

Now, I'd like to bring special attention at this point to the lineup. The drummer and the bassist have changed. The drummer I have no idea why he left. However, I heard that the bassist left after Notta Loan were booed off stage. I can't clarify this, however I've talked to people who I have little reason to doubt. That tells me so much. =)

Oh, they also have a new song on their MySpace, a hilariously bad little ditty called Something Concrete. To their credit, the lyrics are slightly less retarded. However, the song is so much worse, because it loses the dancability that the first one had. This one's just slow and boring. THIS MAKES ME ANGRY. >| But anyway, yeah. The song sucks, yo.

Damn, I've been ranting for so long about their music that I forgot the second point! Apparently, their lead singer Rabbit (stupidest name for a rock star ever. Even stupider than "The Edge", for fuck's sake) is a jackass. Apparently. I don't know him. All I know is that he has supernatural powers at keeping his trousers up.

But yeah. I just hope they can pull something out of their ass. I already hear plots of boos and hisses. Good luck, you tossers.

= - =

Man, Notta Loan have pissed me off. In order to combat the extreme level of shite that they are no doubt going to spew forth, I'm going to set up my own band. I made this a wee while ago, as I expected to have this article up sooner. Alas, no such luck was had. But yeah, if ANYONE wants to help me in my mission to play one gig with Notta Loan, just one, that blows them and their stupid fringes out of the water forever, let me know via comment, message, or whatever. I need YOU to help ME.

Yeah, it'd be awesome if I could accomplish this. But I dunno, most people are so...passive these days. D= Oh well.

Plotting The Inverness Revolution One Day At A Time
~Kay DoubleYou