I really wish I had influence in the scene, I really do. I know that a few people read this, and I love those people, but I just wish that the bands themselves would read this and send me messages of some sort (QWERTY did, but I said I liked them so they don't count). Even if they just messaged me saying "U DUN GT MY ART" I'd be happy, because it'd show I was at least getting through to them. But oh nooooo. (however, I do take full credit for Balletbox going on indefinite hiatus, even if I played no factor in the decision. I just hate those guys)

Of course, we've all seen the drama that's enfolding right now with Absence of Presence, probably the most overrated local band evar. So it's clear what my goal is. I'm going to have to post something about them, because their egos have reached critical mass apparently and it's nearing meltdown.

Absence of Presence

Ok, what the hell? I have no idea what's going on here. We have Jamwa making his bulletin on why he thinks Absence of Presence are a shittily overrated band, which is basically what I do but less permanent, and then all hell breaks loose. I mean, he would have probably received less criticism if he had come out as a Nazi, or admitted to raping someone through the eye or something. But oh no, he disses a band, so clearly a jihad is in order.

The stories I've heard are hilarious and tragic. Hilarious in that the stories can't be true, tragic in that they actually are. First we have the story of how they actually asked Ashes of Pale to change their name because there can only be one AOP in town. Sorry lads, but seeing as Ashes have been going longer I think they win by default. That's how it would work if the names were copyrighted. Why couldn't you change your names? Absence of Presence is so...I dunno, it screams "LOCAL BAND" to me. I recommend "Sciatica". How awesome is that name? =D

The other story I've heard is that Absence were going to kick Jamwa's ass at the Halloween gig. I swear to God, if you do I will lose any respect I had for you (I surprisingly have quite a bit for you guys, but that's for later on). That isn't on. A person is allowed to hate your music just as much as he or she is allowed to love it. You can't change it, no matter how many (IMO empty) threats you make.

I don't fully agree with Jamwa (I don't like Deviate or As The Sun at all. It feels like I'm getting an enema through my ears every time I listen to them), but his criticism certainly rang true on at least one account for me. At least. You guys are definately overrated. I mean, seriously so. While you're definately one of the best of a bad bunch, you're not a ripe fruit on the rotten tree of the Inverness scene. You aren't the Gods, the saviors of modern music that people make you out to be. You're just a band that suck slightly less than the others.

See, I got bored one day, so I decided to ask an Absence of Presence fan why they were an Absence plan. This is how the convo went:

Sexy Kyle: So, why do you like Absence of Presence.
Random AoP Fan: BECUZ LIEK OMG DEYR TEH KOOLIST N FIN IZ DA BST DRUMMA EVAR AN IF ANY1 DIZZ DEM IL BEAT DA CRAP OUTF DEM LOL
Sexy Kyle: ...I see. Care to elaborate?

Of course they don't because they've returned to their AoP-fellatio and it's rude to talk with your mouth full of ego-cock.

I'm going to take your cover of Unholy Confessions as an example. I haven't heard the original or the Ashes of Pale version, so I don't have the advantage of comparing it to the original. However, there was something...I dunno, slightly unpolished about it. The drumming seemed horribly out of sync with the rest of the band, and while the other instruments were good and well played, yadda yadda, there was something...boring about them. I dunno.

Your album preview annoys me. Why can't you just put some of the songs up? I mean, all we're getting is two fifteen second clips, and we're supposed to think "YES. I SHALL BUY THIS ALBUM NOW." And £6? Bitch, please. QWERTY's one was £3, and that was quality. It just reeks of inauthentic commercialism.

Oh, speaking of instruments. I keep hearing that Finn is the BEST DRUMMAR EVAR OLOLOL. No he isn't, the out of sync drumming proved it.

HOWEVER, I do have compliments about you as well. Lucky you. Firstly, your vocalist/screamer guy...thing. He's good. He's very good. His voice is perhaps a little soft when he's screaming, but he's still damn good. Keep him, and feed him well, because I reckon that without him you're fucked. =D

The live show I did see you perform at as well was very good. From what I remember (it was almost two months ago, leave me alone), you managed to keep the audience engaged, which was damn impressive. And whoever got them to play Killing in the Name is made of win. <3

To be honest, I can't think of anything else to write. This is my opinion. AoP need to get over themselves, and start to fucking play for the music.

I warn wouldbe haters that I will be posting any hateful messages I get in a separate blog article. =D