"Suppose the neutral angels were able to talk to Yahweh and Lucifer - God and Satan, to use their popular titles - into settling out of court. What would be the terms of the compromise? Specifically, how would they divide the assets of their earthy kingdom?

Would God be satisfied to take loaves and fishes and itty-bitty thimbles of Communion wine, while allowing Satan to have the red-eye gravy, eighteen-ounce New York steaks, and buckets of chilled champagne? Would God really accept twice-a-month lovemaking for procreative purposes and give Satan the all-night, no-holds-barred, nasty "can't-get-enough-of-you" hot as hell fucks?"

~Tom Robbins, Fierce Invalids Home from Hot Climates