WOO LORD!!  I first wanna say my make-up was AWESOME in the Evil twin scene...... And that's just about all that was good about that scene..eww

Anyhoo, this week was very hard for me. At this point in the competition, it was so much pressure and I am the type of person where once I get in my head, it's pretty much a disaster after that. I take comments about my acting VERY seriously. I knew that I wasnt doing a good job in this scene without James even telling me. But the fact that he saw it too was a struggle for me.

Since I knew that I was coming in this competiton with little training, It was in my head that.."ok... Now your lack of training is showing, Later loser" And that played in my head the whole time as I did my scene. James had to keep stoping and adding things and suggesting thing over and over and he had never really had to do that with me... That also was an indicator that I wasnt doing my job in this particular scene...

I dont think my scene SUCKED, But that was the worst I had felt after coming out of ANY challenge. At this point, I knew the competition had REALLY got to me and was making me.. Well, INSANE!!

And obviously they saw it too....

That was my second time being in that room, and the first time was GREAT, but this time.. It was like losing my virginity again... IT HURT!!! LOL.....But thats what comes with the territory. But I was 100% sure I was going home.... But I was proud of myself that I had made it that far... But it was still gonna hurt none the less.

What you didnt see about the elimination ceremony was everything that James Gunn had said to me. He also said that he  had been noticing over the last couple of weeks that my acting and scene were same and they were starting to flat line and look repetitive.. I was like ok, cool.. That means I just need to make more choices and not be afraid to take it there. But what really angered me, (AND YOU WILL SEE MY BIG MELTDOWN NEXT WEEK) was how long it took him to tell me that he thought my choices were repetetive....

I was so angry cause in my mind im like, well why would you wait until the 7th week to tell me this. I would have been happier if you could have told me maybe the 5th week.... Then I would have had time to work on it. But now that I am going to be in front of Lionsgate, now you want me to practice. This competition is over next week. Now im gonna go into this next's week FINAL challenge wondering was I gonna do a good enough job about changing my technique and hoping I did it in time for the SAW producers to like it..... Anyhoo, I will go more into that next week.....

But thank God this week my life was spared.  And I was so happy that Lindsay got Leading Lady... She so deserved it!

YEA!! IM IN THE FINALS!! WOO WOO WOO....

But some notes to myself....

I gotta do something about those UGLY wrinkles in the middle of my forehead when I cry... GOOD LORD! Why didn't anybody tell me I was such an ugly cryier... HAHAHAHHAA!!!!

And even though he made me mad at times and at times I didnt think he like me, im gonna just put it out there right now.. YEA YEA YEA... Tanedra had the Hots for James Gunn! There... I said it.. Im not embarrassed. He was super cute and I loved his skinny legs and big feet. His blue eyes had me in a trance everytime I saw him and I so wanted to just run and jump in his arms and say.. I LOVE YOU JAMES GUNN.! But.. ya know... Im a gansta, I couldnt let him know that I was under his spell..

wow, im glad I got that off my chest. I really feel 10 pounds lighter.

SEE YA NEXT WEEK!!