Hello,
       I will like to purhase the item  for a friend whom i met when i went for a conference recently but due to the internent scamms out there with different Bogus account of check,i have decided paying you via alertpay so that both parties can be more safe,You can read more @ www.alertpay..com  .I will await your email with your name and address with your phone   today so that i can proceed with your payment  immediately as i wanted thier pastor to bless the item before  Engagment/Wedding ceremony date .
 
Thanks

Mel:

Mr. Scott,

 

Are you still interested in buying it? I need to know where I will be mailing the ring to.  After talking with my wife, she suggested that I mail it first and trust that you would send a check instead of going through alert pay.  I am a person who is christian and doesnt want to rip anyone off. Do you believe in Jesus Christ, Scott? I do, I believe I can trust you :) Let me know where I would mail it, or where I should send it. I'm so excited to get this ring out of my hands! Thank you for saving the day!

 

 

(now why the hell am I selling a engagement ring when i mentioned i had a wife, you would think that would be a redflag and he would pick up on this)

 

 

From Scott:

 

 

 

 

Dear Mr. Scott,

 

 

My good man, thank you for responding, you will be happy to know that the ring is safe and awaiting your blessed hands.  The only problem is Scott, well, I am currently homeless.  My wife and I had a terrible accident.  While we were fighting one night, and I admit, that wasnt the Christian in me, I think the devil got in me that night with one too many shots of tequila.  Well back to the story, she wouldn't shut her big fat trap! You know how women are! Well I must of pimped slapped her something fierce, my dear man, I didnt mean to slap her so hard that she knocked over the tea pot.  Well to make a short story a little shorter, the water ignited a fire, and our house became engulfed in flames.  I tried to make her roll in the flames to put out the fire, after all she is a big woman, but to no avail, we fled.  So we are in between places while living out of a wal-mart shopping cart, which is why the ring has to go, so I can pay for her lipo-suction surgery.  I'd rather be homeless with a hot wife, than an ugly dog-face of a woman.  I'm sorry for revealing all my troubles, times are hard Scott, its damn hard.  With that said, I can mail the ring to you, I just need to know where u are? Oh by the way my name is Mel McCockinblocker, can't give you an address and we dont have a phone.

 

 

 

 

 

Dear Scott,

 

Hey my man, sorry it took me awhile to get back, I had to send my wife out to get some extra money, if you know what I mean. Dont ever get married scott, women are a pain! Anyway I do have an account number, but I forgot what it was.  Maybe you can give me your information and I can deposit the ring into your account.  America has a new system where we can deposit jewelry and other items into accounts free of charge and it can travel to you.  My old friend from high school in europe deposited a gas can full of gas because the gas prices are so high! Good God scott! My whole paycheck went to trying to pay for gas, thats why my wife and I cant get a house, we are short on funds to fill up our cart with gas, its terrible. Scott, I feel so open and feel like I can share anything with you.  I see you as a friend Scott, are you my friend Scott? Im so depressed, please help me get that money, I need it, my wife is getting more haggard by the minute, we do need that surgery.

 

 

 

 

 

My Good Friend Scott:

 

Wow, testy testy! Sounds to me as if someone has the same problem as I do and is crabby, you must have ugly wife syndrome too! I am just kidding my dear friend, friends kid around.  Scott, I will send you the information as soon as my wife gets back from her night out making me some money.  Scott do you need a spelling coach? I noticed the more frustrated you get the worse your spelling is becoming.  Am I the cause of such bad errors? Are you upset with me? I wouldnt want my bestfriend to be upset, Ive never met you but feel like I know you so well. Please don't be mad. I will send the info. as soon as I get it. Until then, I want to tell you about my night out with the misses.  Boy, was it crazy, a crackhead tried to rob us of our shopping cart, I think when you get us the money we are investing in a home security system on our cart so they can't take our belongings.  My dear man, I do hope this works out.

 

Yours Truly

Your bestest friend

Mel

 

(by this time he was getting pissed and no response)

 

Scott,

 

Hellllooo? Why no response, we were off to a good start,  you know, I thought we were bestfriends, did you lie to me about being my friend and giving us money to buy the surgery? You know, I am a christian and dont appreciate liars. Well anyway I was writing to let you know I got that account number you wanted.  But I guess you dont want it now, so goodbye.

 

 

 

 

 My dear Scott,

 

Good to hear from you, I didnt know your dinner and my dinner where at the same times, after all you are in Nigeria.  I was worried about not hearing from you, at first I thought someone had taken your body and maybe used your skin like the guy did on "silence of the lambs" as an overcoat or dress.  I hated that part when he grabbed the little dog into that hole.  Jodi foster was a total hottie in that movie...Hellloooo Clariiiceeee.

Scott, why are we back on alertpay f*ck alert pay, alert dog, alert cat, alert butt, alert nuts! I dont want to be alerted. No alert pay, my wife told me not to give you my account number now because you "done pissed off daddy".  I was going to sell the ring to you and also I had a diamond necklace because I thought u were legit!!