In case you didn't see my last blog, it listed all the stuff that I particularly don't care for. It felt good getting all the stuff that annoyed me off my chest. The list grows and grows, lol.

I'm ok, nervous, anxious and excited to get back home in a little over a week. Celebrating my 21st birthday with my bff and some good friends, catching up on old times and things I may have missed in my 11-month absence from NYC. It's amazing to see how much we've all grown through Facebook and Myspace or hearing stories on the phone, but seeing the stuff for myself will be a great moment for me.

School's ok, I made the fatal mistake of hearing that I'm doing well in my classes and started slacking off. Hopefully down the stretch I won't trip on my own two feet like I usually do and finish this quarter off strong.

I was in a bout of depression a few weeks back, being homesick and whatnot. I know I have a lot of stuff to iron out with my family when I get back, but I honestly feel like I can call them my family now, something I haven't been able to do in years. Being independent since I was 15, I tend to just acknowledge them as relatives. Family is a strong word, like hate. Whatever contempt I have for them I have to learn to get past them because reaching adulthood, I need to overcome these barriers with them; I need people in my corner and with my family being in short supply of existing people, I have to learn to appreciate them again. As much as I may not want to deal with that when I'm home, I'm going to have to learn.

21 is a time for reflection, a time for looking back at my past, acknowledging my mistakes and realizing my future. I'm aware of the symbolism in everything around me, or at least I try to be, and I realize that turning 21 is not just a pass for me to drink, it's a rite of passage, a turning point in my life that, when everything else showed me that adulthood was starting, actually is the beginning of me being a man. No longer calling myself a man, but actually being a man.

The responsibilities I have will only grow from here, and whatever life throws at me, I have to be ready to face head on, no safety nets or foster care anymore, this is me. All me. Only me.

Coming out to Washington was sink or swim time, but even then I had the option of requesting a flight back home through my caseworker...no more of that. I had help getting back on my feet when shit hit the fan...no more of that, either.

So as I celebrate my 21st birthday on Thanksgiving and begin to list what I'm thankful for over turkey, I will definitely have a lot to say at the table.

And when I hit the bar that night, I will take a drink and toast to my life thus far, and to the years ahead. The moments that comprised who I am now and the moments that will happen later on.