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Heather



Last Updated: 5/23/2009

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Gender: Female
Status: In a Relationship
Age: 22
Sign: Virgo

City: Leicester
State: Midlands
Country: UK
Signup Date: 12/7/2005

Who Gives Kudos:


February 1, 2007 - Thursday 

Current mood:  depressed
Category: Life
I AM LOSING MY IDENTITY!!!!
Slowly but surely, everything i seem to relate to and consider "me," or "home," is falling apart.
I guess I have always wanted to imitate my parents - marry very young, populate the earth, have a rewarding if insanely chaotic life, etc. I revel in our eccentricity and uniqueness...and it's dissapearing...

Mom was married at 17. Dad was 21. They dropped out of school, yet dad is now working on his master's and mom is finishing her bachelors, and we live quite comfortably. I'm incredibly proud of them.
I'm nineteen with no prospects within any fathomable amout of time.

Mom quit her job to take care of us.
She's working - part time now, full time eventually. Granted, it's as a teacher at the kids school, but still.

And thats another thing. She homeschooled us for  11 years.
I'm in c
ollege and the kids are in Christian school.

We moved all the time. It was rough. It sucked. It made us strong.
We haven't left the area, really, in seven years. Too many memories here. It's time to go.

"
And he's talking with Davy, who's still in the Navy And probably will be for life..."
I take pride in the fact that my dad is in the navy. I take pride in the fact that we have lived 3 1/2 years without him, and are still a strong family.
Two days ago he put in his retirement papers.

Is it just me, or is everything I identify myself with falling apart? I LOVE freaking people out: "Yep, they dropped out of school to get married, mom quit her job to homeschool us (by the way, all SEVEN of us), dad's an XO on ships, been gone for years, mom does it ALL on her own. And yes, I want at least four children. Preferably seven."
The way their mouths drop is amazing, and oh so funny. I love pushing peoples buttons. I love my family. I'm proud of the struggles, the sacrafices, the silliness, and the insanity.

I JUST FEEL SO RESTLESS AND OUT OF PLACE! I need to go trot the globe for a year and just go DO something before I come back and aquaint myself with all this normality....I feel like I'm somehow missing my calling, like it's somehow passed me and I'll never be able to grasp it.

Ok, fine. enough of that. if anyone's still reading, I'm sorry.

Someday I will be able to sing this....

When you look into my eyes
And you see the crazy gypsy in my soul
It always comes as a surprise
When I feel my withered roots begin to grow
Well I never had a place that I could call my very own
That's all right, my love, 'cause you're my home

When you touch my weary head
And you tell me everything will be all right
You say, "Use my body for your bed
And my love will keep you warm throughout the night"
Well I'll never be a stranger and I'll never be alone
Whenever we're together, that's my home

Home can be the Pennsylvania Turnpike
Indiana's early morning dew
High up in the hills of California
Home is just another word for you

Well I never had a place that I could call my very own
That's all right, my love, 'cause you're my home

If I travel all my life
And I never get to stop and settle down
Long as I have you by my side
There's a roof above and good walls all around
You're my castle, you're my cabin and my instant pleasure dome
I need you in my house 'cause you're my home.
You're my home.

"You're my Home"
by Billy Joel
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Currently listening:
Billy Joel - Greatest Hits Vol. 1-2
By Billy Joel
Release date: 20 October, 1998
Namekjohn

 

Frist things frist dont be sorry. myspace is meant for stuff like this lol

lost identiy..... god i know that feeling, you look in the mirror and your like... who am i realy,

with me i just wish there was a magic 8 ball to tell me everything.

all i can tell you is, your heather.

Life throws you all sorts of things and how we define who/what we are is how we deal with what life throws us.

a global trip sounds nice. i say if your able to do it, DO IT.. it may help you figure out what you want in life.

your 19 hon dont stress too much on this, at least your not 25 still trying to figure out what you want.

if you ever need to talk you have my #...

Take care of your self heather

_John


 
Posted by Namekjohn on February 1, 2007 - Thursday - 2:00 PM
[Reply to this
Joe

 

Ah grasshopper, have you lost sight of what REALLY matters? Or perhaps it is better said WHO really matters? Everything that you identify with is falling apart. In this sin-cursed world nothing will survive. You are out of place here. This world is not our home. We are "strangers and pilgrims." What is outrageously unbelievable is that we are part of something much larger and eternally permanent than our mortal family. We have a greater family-the family of God, the Body of Christ. Amidst all of life's turbulance, hold on to Christ. He alone is the sure anchor for your soul.

When you start feeling this way, read all six chapters of Ephesians in one sitting. Vitamin B-12 for the heart! 


 
Posted by Joe on February 3, 2007 - Saturday - 7:04 PM
[Reply to this
tuttles

 
hey i was browsing through blogs and just ran into yours, and you know what, i was thinking the same thing as you, thanks for writing it, but yeah i NEED to let you know that you can get mp3 quality ring-tones featuring all the top artists sent instantly to your phone, youll love it, go here and enjoy PS, let me know what ones you picked K?



 
Posted by tuttles on May 5, 2007 - Saturday - 11:20 AM
[Reply to this
baron

 
Err.. I can't get you free ringtones, but I can tell you I agree with a lot of what you said. I'm finally making preparations to get out of the Navy, and part of me wants to take a year of just traveling the world. Specifically, gotta hit the homeland! (Ireland) I haven't been in years. I read up on various countries/ regions a few times a week on Wikipedia just because I can almost feel the plane tickets in my hand. :P

For a down and gritty idea of travel through a wide variety of countries, I'd really recommend reading HoboTraveler's website. Forbes and Time apparently both recognize it as a top travel blog. Unfortunately, his English is kinda spotty, so grin and bare it!

http://www.hobotraveler.com/

Haha, I think Pam from the Office puts it best:

"If I knew that I had a week to live, I would proably go to Europe. And South America. And the Grand Canyon. And I would want to see the Pacific Ocean. It would be a pretty busy week."
 
Posted by baron on September 6, 2007 - Thursday - 6:41 PM
[Reply to this