The following wrestling show write-up bears no necessary mirror to reality, as some tag team & finisher names have been fabricated by the author for mostly-self-entertainment purposes.


06/21/09

commentating by Mike Tenay & Don West ~ from the Palace in Auburn Hills, Michigan

Special Guest Bell Holder, Detroit Tiger Curtis Granderson heads to the ring for the following 5-MAN "KING OF The MOUNTAIN", TNA X DIVISION TITLE MATCH: champion Suicide versus "Black Machismo" Jay Lethal versus IWGP Junior Tag Team co-champion Chris Sabin versus Consequences Creed versus IWGP Junior Tag Team co-champion Alex Shelley; Suicide Sends Lethal to the Penalty Box for 2 Minutes, then Sends Sabin to the Penalty Box, Just as Black Machismo Exits; Jay Sends Suicide to the Penalty Box, Just as Chris Exits; Creed Sends Shelley to the Penalty Box, joining Suicide & Lethal in Their Title-Hanging Eligibility; Alex Sends Chris to the Penalty Box; Sabin Sends Lethal to the Penalty Box, Making All 5 Men Eligible to Win; Suicide Hangs the Belt to Win the Match {PSYCHOLOGY: always a good start to a pay-per-view, either when WCW had a Cruiserweight match, or TNA has an X Division match!}

backstage, Lauren Thompson makes to bother "Franchise" Shane Douglas, but 1st reassures us that she'll be on top of things when TNA & IWGP Tag Team champions Team 3D show up; the beautiful Lauren-Come-Lately, maybe she should learn her role before jabbering her jaw ~ he's been the Man, but like the legend says, to be the Man, you have to beat the Man; TNA Founder Jeff Jarrett felt sorry for Chris Daniels, but there'll be no sympathy from the Franchise, he's ready to set the standard & knock that punk out for trying it make a name for himself on Douglas' back; before the match, Shane heads out to the 6-sided ring, where he quickly makes friends by belittling the Detroit fans for not treating a legend like him, from such an awesome city as Philadelphia, with more reverence; TNA "2nd CHANCE" MATCH: Chris Daniels pins "Franchise" Shane Douglas with a 'Best Moonsault Ever' Top-Rope Moonsault {PSYCHOLOGY: yeah, like they would've gotten rid of Daniels that quick!}

in the Executive Shareholder's office, Jeremy Borash bothers Heavyweight champion Mick Foley, who doesn't like JB's numbers, after the bash he threw for TNA Founder Jeff Jarrett, he's gonna be on the Hardcore Legend's side; well, since Mickles decides that the next time he's gonna defend that belt's some 18 months from now, the Forever Hardcore Documentarian gives Foley a gift to open now, but the Heavyweight champion moonwalks off, singing that he has the World Title. . .  in his hands!

TNA KNOCKOUTS TITLE MATCH: champion Angelina Love defeats Tara Varon with a 'Lights Out' Jumping Space Tornado Ogawa {PSYCHOLOGY: so not only is it shenanigans to the fact that Tara's suddenly the #1 Contender. . . but now it's shenanigans because Angelina Love couldn't defeat her without the help of Velvet Sky & Madison Raine!}

backstage, Lauren Thompson bothers Doctor Stevie, who questions how the blonde speaks to a professional, maybe he should help her put her issues to rest after he, Raven & Daffney put an end to the pain of Abyss; he spend 100s of hours trying to piece together the jigsaw puzzle of the Monster's psyche, but how, he'll have to beat some sense into him; Raven likes Lauren, she wears her moral superiority like a badge of excrement; they're brothers in blood, in a universe of infinite possibilities, he & Abyss are statistical anomalies; they've each had hours & hours, days & days, years & years of therapy, but they're hopeless addicts to pain with nowhere to go by straight to Hell; but there's 1 slight chance @ redemption, they both have an opportunity to destroy each other tonight in the following "MONSTER's BALL" NO DISQUALIFICATION, MIXED TAG TEAN MATCH: Putting the "FUN" Back in Dysfunctional (Raven & Daffney) versus Scars & Stripes (Abyss & Taylor Wilde); the Monster pins the Former ECW Heavyweight champion with a 'Black Hole Slam' Swinging Urinagi Slam {PSYCHOLOGY: after Taylor planted Daffney into a bevy of thumbtacks!!!}

backstage, Jeremy Borash bothers TNA Founder Jeff Jarrett, who doesn't consider it a contradiction to say that A) tonight he's taking his company back & B) he doesn't want the Heavyweight title; when insinuating that he might be on the side of Executive Shareholder ~ Heavyweight champion Mick Foley, after the shindig that Mickles threw for him last week, JJ tells the Forever Hardcore Documentarian that he's giving the Hardcore Legend far too much credit

MAIN EVENT MAFIA "QUALIFYING" MATCH: Sting beats "Blueprint" Matt Morgan with a 'Scorpion Death Drop' Reverse DDT {PSYCHOLOGY: from the middle rope, for extra leverage!}

a video package plays, hyping Bound For Glory, live on pay-per-view October 18th from Los Angeles, California

backstage, Lauren Thompson bothers Legends champion "Phenomenal" AJ Styles & Samoa Joe, the former stating that they have an advantage over the others in the King of the Mountain match, he & the Samoan Submission Machine have been talking about this match for months, they're gonna put this company back in the hands of the right people; Joe states that Kurt Angle's wait's over, the  Nation of Violence will destroy the Olympic Hero, just like it took out Kevin Nash, Scott Steiner & Booker TNA; tonight, they're gonna pound & ground their way to becoming the most powerful force in the history of professional wrestling

during the following match, Brutus Magnus & Doug Williams joins Tenay & West @ ringside for special guest commentary for the following TNA TAG TEAN TITLE MATCH: champions {& IWGP Tag Team champions} Team 3D (Brother Ray & Brother Devon) versus Beer Money, Incorporated (Robert Roode & "Cowboy" James Storm); Roode defeats Devon with a 'DUI' Double-Team Powerbomb-Neckbreaker  {PSYCHOLOGY: quite a thugnificent match!}

backstage, Jeremy Borash bothers a 5-O'Clock shadowed Kurt Angle, who laughs @ the idea of Samoa Joe fulfilling his destiny; the Olympic Hero's survived a Samoan Submission Machine assault before, so tonight he's ready to go all the way to the title, reclaiming the Main Event Mafia's place in charge of Total NonStop Action Wrestling once more; MAIN EVENT, 5-MAN "KING OF The MOUNTAIN", TNA HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE MATCH: champion ~ Executive Shareholder Mick Foley versus TNA Founder Jeff Jarrett versus Samoa Joe versus Legends champion "Phenomenal" AJ Styles versus Kurt Angle; Due To Some Violence Enacted onto the Olympic Hero, the Referee Sends the Samoan Submission Machine to the Penalty Box for 2 Minutes & Declares that Angle's Eligible to Hang the Belt; JJ Sends the Hardcore Legend to the Penalty Box, After Mickles Pulls Jarrett Down Onto Him; Joe Sends Foley Back to the Penalty Box with a 'Kakina Klutch' Rear-Naked Choke, Joining Jarrett & Angle in Their Belt-Hanging Eligibility; Foley Sends Angle to the Penalty Box; AJ Sends Mick to the Penalty Box, Making All Men Eligible to Hang the Belt; the Samoan Submission Machine Hands the Belt to the Olympic Hero, who Hangs the Belt to Win the Match {PSYCHOLOGY: shenanigans!}